Ah, Valentine’s Day. The flowers. There is more. The candy. The cards. There is more. The fancy schmancy dinner in a “nice” restaurant. OK. Sharing one decadent dessert with two forks. There is more. The romance. The soft music. The candlelight that makes virtually everyone look amazing. How wonderful.

Then comes the rest of the year. After the flush of romance on Valentine’s Day, most couples soon forget the sweet sentiments on the cards they exchanged & fall rapidly back into their routines, which while somewhat necessary, can lead to boredom & stagnation in the relationship in a hurry.

To avoid falling into that boredom & stagnation in your relationship, attempt taking an approach written about by Bill O’Hanlon, author of Do One Thing Different. Change one aspect of your relationship & notice how powerful even a small, seemingly inconsequential change can be. According to O’Hanlon, “Although not everything is in your control, you do have the power to make your life better… The smallest changes in your life can move you in the right direction.”

Here are some some small things you can change about your relationship that will keep those Valentine’s Day romantic feelings going all year long. By the way, many of these tips are inexpensive or even free, so they work for even the tightest budgets!

  • Send each other free e-cards or virtual flowers on a regular basis. Right. Websites like www.Hallmark.com & www.VirtualFlorist.com have developed a great way to have potential on-line customers experience their business: by offering free products delivered via email. Another plus is these services offer a wide variety of options to select from, so you can send a funny :lol: or sentimental card or a photo of a beautiful bouquet or a fat-free box of virtual chocolates! Start & end each day with the words, “I love you.” By making this simple but profound expression of your feelings on a regular basis, your partner will continue to be reminded just how important s/he is to you.
  • Create a standing date that you never miss, regardless of life’s circumstances. Decide what’s important for you… You can read the Sunday paper in bed together while you enjoy coffee or tea together. You can go straight to church & breakfast together every Sunday morning. You can open a bottle of wine each Friday night after work & share your favorite moments from the week. Think of something you can do even if you’re on vacation or other life events come up. You will soon find yourselves looking forward to these special intimate moments.
  • Begin a “love journal.” Write notes for each other in a book that you leave for the other to find: on his pillow, at her place at the dinner table, on the driver’s seat of his car, in her bedroom closet. What would you write? Anything at all! Share your thoughts about an upcoming holiday, describe in vivid detail how you felt when you first met, re-live a moment from your honeymoon, explain your position about a recent disagreement, write a list of the top 10 things you love about each other. Whatever you can dream up, you can write in your love journal. Remember that the purpose is to draw you closer together.
  • Thank your spouse regularly. By offering a simple verbal thank you reminds your spouse that you do not take everything s/he does for granted. When he prepares a delicious meal, thank him for it… When she works long hours at the office to land a big client, thank her for working so hard. When he takes out the garbage, when she pays the bills – make certain your spouse knows how grateful you’re by saying so.
  • What ideas can you think of that would work for injecting more romance into your every day life? Remember, all you really need to do is change one small thing to soon notice some big rewards. So instead of only having to look forward to the flush of romance Valentine’s Day offers, you can have the entire year look forward to!

If you have more ideas, send them to Felicia@TransformativeJourneys.com. ? Felicia Slattery, 2007.

Felicia Slattery is a life & relationship coach with more than a decade of experience teaching others how to improve their communication skills & lead happier more successful lives. She offers a free e-course called “5 Strategies for Creating Happily Ever After in Your Marriage” at her website http://www.TransformativeJourneys.com. Enjoy your marriage: it is the Journey of a lifetime!