Those people who are in loving relationships for the most part enjoy Valentines Day & the ‘season’ leading up to it (which now begins directly after Christmas in some retail stores). But many people are in transition, or they have not yet found the right partner, or they may be in a relationship that does not hold any value for them any longer. For these people, Valentine’s Day ‘season’ is a real source of emotional pain.

‘Many people suffer from much higher levels of stress during the Valentine’s season,’ Frank Lawlis, PhD, co-creator of MindBodySeries.com & Chairman of Dr. Phil’s Advisory Board states. ‘Couple the stress with the depression people feel when they’re unhappy in love & reminded daily by the holiday how wonderful it’s when you’re in love, & you have a recipe for both mental & physical distress.’

There are also more incidents of colds & flus caused by the immune system being suppressed by elevated stress levels on the short-term physical side (long term, stress is now connected to some forms of cancer, heart disease & type 2 diabetes). On the mental side, reaction to stress & depression can manifest as symptoms ranging from irritability to suicide & nearly everything in between. People who are stressed can become unpredictable, quick to anger, they may isolate themselves from friends & family, & often, this stress prolonged for a number of days will lead to depression.

‘You really can get help for this,’ Kathleene Derrig-Palumbo, CEO of Online Therapy eClinic, MyTherapyNet.com. ‘It’s the difference between stewing with these feelings for days, weeks, even months or being done with them in a few sessions.’ She says that Online Therapy is a great option for people who are busy, homebound, live in rural areas, or even ashamed or intimidated to go straight to therapy in person. Besides that, it is convenient, as clients can meet with a therapist any time of day or night & attend the session from the comfort of their own home or office.

Learning to relax is also very help-ful in alleviating & reversing the negativity. This does not mean ‘relax’ as in having a glass of Merlot while watching TV. It means clinical relaxation. On a recent episode of the Dr. Phil Show, Lawlis uses his MindBodySeries.com Relaxation Series to help their guests recover from a home invasion.

‘Many times, we see that stress is having a significantly negative impact on our guests.’ Lawlis explains. ‘By teaching them how to get into a real state of relaxation, they find that many of their issues go from looking larger than life to being manageable.’ Stress releases hormones into the bloodstream that cause a person’s heart to race, blood pressure to rise, & neurological activity to be negatively impacted. The stress response evolved in humans to protect us ? if a tiger attacked, the stress response caused us to immediately decide between fight & flight. Stress filters our options down to two. But we live in a much more complex world now, with much more complex stressors ? stressors that can be addressed by many tactics ? the subtleties of which can have dramatically different long-term effects. These kinds of stressors present us with many options. The only way to be easily able to even perceive those options is to learn how to clinically relax as rapidly as possible when stressed. Once relaxed, the person is able to see the options of the situation. Simply being empowered by having choices can be rewarding in & of itself… Most importantly, the person becomes better situated to making the best possible decision for the situation at hand.

There are also some simple things that you can do to reduce the emotional impact of Valentines Day.

‘Get together with other your friends & family’, Derrig-Palumbo suggests. But stay away from those that unwittingly (or wittingly) rub your face in their happiness or your dating status. ‘Surrounding yourself with people you love & who love you’ll make you feel better’. And attempt to laugh ? a lot. Laughter instantly relieves stress & alleviates depression. ‘Just laugh, even if you do not mean it at first, just the act of laughing will make you feel better’.

And above all else ? reach out for help as soon as you start to feel stuck. With the ability to use Online Therapy to instantly connect with a licensed therapist, there’s no excuse for not getting the help you need.

Jonathan Stewart is a freelance writer for newspapers & magazines nationwide.