There is nothing worse in a marriage relation than the feeling of being cheated by your partner & not being able of stopping the situation in some way or making him / her confess what they’re into. And of course this situation will easily lead to the eventual breaking up of the relation with all its bad :cry: consequences.

So the first thing you should do isn’t to leave the affair situation to chance & do not commit the big mistake of waiting for “time to heal” the painful situation. Do not waste time with simplistic suggestions or vague generalities, & of course you should not act just out of desperation. You have to be smart when this kind of situation has hit your life.

Many people, out of their need to have a stable relationship commit a number of mistakes. One of them is that they attempt harder, this means, they tolerate the situation. They wimp out & put up with all kinds of ridiculous thoughts & they hope time will eventually cure the situation & he/she will reconsider what’s happening.

Other mistake a cheated spouse usually makes is being really nice; some people call this “working on the marriage.” This is a situation of giving a lot with the expectation of wining him/her back. But the hard truth is that this usually does not work at all. You simply undervalue your integrity & deep down you know it & you end resenting it… As well, you feel like you’re always competing with the other person.

Additionally if he/she does stop the affair & “comes back” it’s almost certain that he/she is doing it out of guilt or pity.

Other people go on the attack. They plead, beg, become very nice partners but then explode every so often & threaten the cheating spouse. Some times become depressed & then they ask for the help of others. There is more. They have no problems in using guilt against the partner & maybe use the children as a weapon against the cheater.

But this approach does not work either. You do not have to become a basket case; it is no something to be proud of or having fun with. In case he/she does “come back” it will be out of coercion, not free will. You want to be wanted rather than have some one with you just out of coercion. So none of these approaches are good for saving a relationship.

There are better & smarter ways to stop an affair situation & save your marriage, you can read about it in our webpage:

=> http://www.askingplanet.com/Save-Marriage