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A marriage or any other relationship whether it be a friendship or intimate relationship between two people can only endure if it has love flowing through it… Today’s marriages are failing at record levels in the western world, recent statistics show that in the United States alone that almost ½ of marriages there end in divorce. Marriages can not endure without love & it seems that the world is lacking a lot of love today. Jesus Christ predicted that in the last days ‘the love of many would wax cold’ (Matthew 24:12). It certainly seems like the love of many is waxing cold if we look upon today’s world. With all the divorces & broken families in today’s world, it seems as though things are getting worse & worse & that the world is in a famine for love, love is lacking & we’re in a drought for it.

Many women often get their hearts broken when their marriages fail & their husband leaves them for another woman, & leaves her with children to raise & a mortgage to pay off. If love was the ingredient continually being poured into the relationship & family, these husbands would never leave their family behind because love would bind the family together forever, because love never fails. Husbands & wives seeking posh careers & materialism to satisfy & keep their family happy are heading for disaster; the lust of the eyes never satisfies & always fails to create happiness. Materialism, coveting & bigger houses do not have the ingredients to keep a family bonded together, only pure love can create the spiritual ribbon that keeps a family tied together for eternity.

On Television through TV commercials they show families purchasing a new car fresh from the car dealer, & it shows the family smiling & getting into the car & paints a picture that the new four wheel drive will make your family happy, & be very good for the overall future of the family. Television is now full of the concept that materialism will save your family & satisfy them. Materialism & its plastic false happiness are paraded all over the media, & it is always promoted as the key to being successful in life.

What is success?

Does success mean having a big house & driving the very latest four wheel drive, & having a husband who is never home because he is always working late hours to pay off all the flashy possessions?

Does success mean having a husband who stays up late to have sex with his secretary, while his wife lies in her bed wishing her husband would show her love like he did in the beginning of their marriage?

Does success mean that a husband & wife work seven days a week to pay off credit card debts, while the children get fobbed off at a childcare center’s & are raised by strangers who raise them in a scientific & technical way, so that the kids turn out like robots & never develop a real intimate relationship with their parents?

I met an African man recently who migrated to Australia where I live, & he told me something that echoed in my mind for a longtime. I was at a local bar in the city having a couple of drinks & we started talking, & I asked him why he migrated to Australia, & he told me that he came to Australia to have a better life, & to seek happiness & security through the economic & employment benefits Australia had to offer. I asked him if he was happy about making his decision to come to Australia, & he told me that when he was living in Africa in poverty that he was more happy there than he was in Australia. He told me that he was working so hard & was chasing money & materialism that he did not have time for the important things in life. He said that his poverty stricken family who were living in Africa was happier than he was. His family in Africa was living in poverty, but they loved each other with a deep & pure love that kept them bound together & bubbling with joy. Flash cars & big houses do not keep you bubbling with joy, they might tickle your eyes for a bit of time but the novelty wears off, & you start to realize that the big houses & flash cars can not fill the empty space in your heart that you long to fill.

People attempt & fill the emptiness in their lives with possessions; they think if they can have a better car than their neighbor’s that will make them & their family happier, they measure success on how much financial gain & possessions they can acquire. People are trying to fill the emptiness of their hearts with the things of this world, Jesus said, ‘Man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word that proceeds from the mouth of God.’ (Matt 4:4). Bread is what we eat & bread can also symbolize the physical things we attempt to fill ourselves up with such as; the fancy cars & fancy fashionable clothes we buy to fill the emptiness in our lives, but these things never fill us up they only tickle our eyes & senses for a little bit. Only true eternal love from God can fill the emptiness in our hearts & make a relationship work. God is love & God is the words in the bible, in the bible it says, ‘In the beginning was the word & the word was with God & the word was God’, so if God is love in its purest form then that means that the words written in the bible are love in its purest form, because God is the words in the bible & God is love in its purest form.

People can not satisfy themselves with fancy cars & big houses alone, & they can not actually be satisfied & live a meaningful existence without knowing God & his words of pure love. The words of God in the bible are like the tunes of a song that we dance to. If you picture your walk in life as dancing to music, if you dance to the word of God you’ll dance with a loving flow of pure bliss & joy, but if you dance to the tune of seeking materialism & power you’ll find yourself dancing like an erratic robot with no substance or emotion, you’ll become shallow with no depth or flavor, your dance to life will become dry & without richness & emotion. It’s the spirit that quickens & makes things alive; the things of this world & the flesh profit nothing.

I remember walking through the city of Sydney in Australia one day, & I looked at peoples eyes; these people were on their way to work, & as they marched to work in the morning they looked like robots, they looked like they were hypnotized & unaware of what was happening around them. The whole system has regulated people & the people are not aware that most of the time they’re in a zombie like state, they’re on auto-pilot & barely have enough time to look at a beautiful rose in a garden & appreciate Gods handiwork, they do not even have time to look at the beautiful endless blue sky & just lose their thoughts in it… As society invents new devices & gadgets that speed life up more & more, & society make’s the claims that these devices make us happier, we seem to be just getting more & more miserable instead of happier. Fast cars, fast computers & fancier gadgets seem to be making life more miserable rather than more enlightening. Kids do not need new computer games to replace time that could be spent hugging their mothers & bonding with their fathers. Kids need loving & enlightening bonding between both parents, purchasing a child the very latest play station video game is like purchasing a barrier that keeps you separated from your child.

Parents who work two jobs because they say they want the best for their kids usually fob their kids off at a daycare centre, & the kids get raised by strangers & most of the time the kids are watching television & they become brainwashed conditioned children, who look to the TV for guidance instead of seeking their parents for guidance. The parents say they’re looking out for their families’ best interest, when they both take up busy full time jobs to save up finances to buy fancy things & send their kids to a private school, but statistics show that many marriages where the wife & husband are working fulltime have their marriages fail. The marriage fails & the husband & wife suffer, & then the children suffer. The children become involved in an emotional tug of war between the father & mother & this psychologically damages children for life.

When I was a young child my parents divorced & had an emotional tug of war over me, & it really damaged me psychologically, I started taking illegal drugs to numb the pain & confusion that my parents divorce had on me. We were a reasonably wealthy family, we lived in a beautiful big house & had fancy expensive cars, but the relationships in the family were failing, my parents marriage was failing & me & my brothers relationship with my parents was also failing. Do you follow? The money we had & the beautiful house & other things we had did not save my parents marriage. Bank accounts lose value, cars rust, houses corrode, & shares shrink, bonds fade away, but only love endures. Our family lacked love because we did not know God. God is love & if you want love in your family & relationship you really need to know God. With God it is almost impossible for a relationship to fail, because with God nothing is impossible as it says in the bible.

Better cars, bigger houses & fancier modern technology only give us a plastic & counterfeit peace of mind, they only satisfy for a few moments. There is more. These things can never make us happy & bring security to a marriage & family. A husband needs to have an eternal perspective towards his family, that which is seen is temporal but that which is unseen is eternal. Love is unseen but it is a powerful force & a potent ingredient in keeping a family & marriage together.

God is love in its purest form, & love is what keeps a relationship & family bound together for eternity. There’s a famine for love that seems to be killing this generation, because people have forgotten & do not understand what true love really is. A relationship without God can not exist in love; because God is love. ‘Beloved, let’s love one another, for love is of God; & virtually everyone who loves is born of God & knows God. He who doesn’t love doesn’t know God, for God is love.’(1 John 4:7-8). Since God is love, the very best way to find out what love in its purest form is; is to develop a personal & spiritual relationship with God & ask him to fill you with his abundant spiritual pure love without measure. When God begins filling you with his love you can then begin to pour it out onto your spouse, children & other people you care about. Many marriages fail because one of the parties says they do not love the other one anymore, because the marriage has become dry & there’s a draught for love in the relationship. When there’s a draught for water the first thing you do is go straight to a plentiful river with a bucket to collect more water, well if your marriage is suffering from a draught for love the best thing to do is go straight to God, because God is the biggest river of love you could possibly find. God will not turn you away, if you ask sincerely for many more love in your relationship God will give you a reason to love your spouse, & God will even make the good times you had in the past resurface again, & he will make you closer to your spouse than you have ever been before. But in order for the relationship to be successful & full of love, both the man & woman need to have their heart, mind & soul switched on to Gods channel. For a man & woman to exist in love for eternity they must have their heart in heaven with God. Jesus said, ‘Do not store up treasures for yourself on earth, for where your treasure is that is where your heart will be also.’ For a relationship to last for eternity & be a meaningful & loving relationship, both the husband & wife need to have their hearts committed to God, so they can receive Gods pure love in abundance.

When a husband & wife do not have a relationship with God, or one is committed to God & the other neglects God, then the relationship eventually becomes dry & loses its flavor. God must be number one in any relationship, He must be the most significant thing in a marriage, because God is pure love & if somebody does not fully know God, then they do not know pure love & they can not give their partner pure & true love, because if you do not know God you do not know what love is.

Sometimes marriages fail because the husband & wife feel they have no more love to give one another; they can not handle the marriage any longer because it does not mean anything. Do you follow? The husband buys a fancy new car to drive his wife around in & its fun & it tickles his fancy for about a week, but after then the car just becomes another prop in the lifeless, dry & loveless relationship he is in. Physical things will not replenish & bring to life a dead & dry relationship, only the unseen spiritual things of God can replenish a relationship in draught. Jesus said that whoever believed in him, rivers of living water would flow from their bellies. If a marriage has Jesus Christ as its cornerstone, who was the image of the invisible God, then the husband & wife will have rivers of love flowing from their spiritual being onto one another, & they will find they have more love to give each other than they ever did before.

People often get their ideas, concepts & definitions of love through watching television, they watch a cheap TV soap & observe a couple of B grade actors sharing a fake kiss in a fancy car & that is their definition of romance & love. Society has become so conditioned & it has had its thoughts so manipulated by the media that we seem to have lost the truth of our history, & what history knew about love & what it meant. People may laugh at this & think that we know more about everything now than we did back then?.. Or did we? The divorce rate in the United States has almost doubled since 1950, this is clear evidence that fifty years ago they knew more about how to make a marriage endure than we do now. Fancy counselors, The Dr Phil TV Show, Oprah Winfrey & psychologists claim they have the answers, but the fact is we do not need any of these people to make marriages blossom, we need to look to the past to see what made marriages successful. In the past the bible was taught in schools & children were taught how to have a relationship with God, & how to pray to God for help & guidance. Now in the United States the bible & prayer have been banned in public schools & children are now learning what the definition of love is from the television set; instead of reading a remarkable & historical publication that has described love in its purest form to countless generations in the past. The publication which has defined love for our past generations for centuries is the bible.

In the bible it says that we can receive love in its purest form when we call out to God & ask him to fill us with his Holy Spirit. One of the key fruits of the Holy Spirit is love, ‘But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, Meekness, temperance: against such there is no law.’ (Galatians 5:22-23).

People will often laugh & think that calling out to God & asking to receive more love to give, & to ask for many more love to be poured into a relationship is an unbelievable fable that isn’t true. But I implore you to give it a try, I was a person involved with drug dealing & I was bad tempered & violent at times for a longtime. When I asked Jesus Christ who is the image of God into my spirit, I developed a personal relationship with God & I was able to ask him things, & I asked him to give me love & to change me. I wanted to stop being a cold person, & I wanted to become more loving to the people around me. When I asked God to give me more love, I received a lot more love in my heart to share with others, & people who had known me before said they were amazed at the change that occurred within me, many people told me I was like a new person. In the bible it says, ‘Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold all things are become new.’ (2 Corinthians 5:17). I really feel like a new creature, I feel like a being of love & a genuine new creature in Christ that has a lot of love to share with others.

Instead of getting our idea’s of what love is from the television set, here is the definition & true meaning of love described & illustrated in the Holy Bible which is the word of our great God who is love Himself:

1 Corinthians 13:1-8
1 Though I speak with the tongues of men & of angels, but have not love, I’ve become sounding brass or a clanging cymbal.

2 And though I’ve the gift of prophecy, & understand all mysteries & all knowledge, & though I’ve all faith, so that I could get rid of mountains, but have not love, I’m nothing.

3 And though I bestow all my goods to feed the poor, & though I give my body to be burned, but have not love, it profits me nothing. 4 Love suffers long & is kind; love doesn’t envy; love doesn’t parade itself, isn’t puffed up;

5 doesn’t behave rudely, doesn’t seek its own, isn’t provoked, thinks no evil;

6 doesn’t rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth;

7 bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

8 Love never fails. But whether there’re prophecies, they will fail; whether there’re tongues, they will cease; whether there is knowledge, it will vanish away.

Every time I read the word of God in the Holy Bible it really touches my heart & lasts forever. I was listening to a Celine Dion song from the Titanic movie recently & I heard a line in the song that said, ‘Love can touch just one time & last for a lifetime.’ When I read about love & anything else in the Bible it touches me & lasts for a lifetime. I am sure if you have read the above definition of love from the Holy Bible, it will be remembered in your mind & heart for a lifetime, because true love never dies, & all the words from God in the Bible are true love, because God is the Word, & God is love.

If you would like to bring more love into your life I would like to invite you to pray the following prayer, & I am sure if you called out to God with your whole heart in this prayer, he will send an angel to deliver you a flask of pure love that will last you a lifetime:

Dear Jesus,

I believe you’re the image of God & that you died on the cross for me, I believe you’re love in its purest form & you gave us a message of love & hope, please come into my heart & fill me with your Holy Spirit, so that I can share love & give love to the people around me.

James is one of two people that operate a site at http://www.escapeministries.net Escape ministries is a place where people can be ministered to over the internet, by reading articles, watching videos & receiving personal prophetic words. James & Matthew invite you to visit today to look at some of the articles they have collected & watch some of the video teachings they’re setting about to produce for you… You are encouraged to sign up for our monthly news letter or simply email James or Matthew with any of your comments. Right. We hope that you might bookmark it & come back to visit often as we pursue our mission statement that is found on our home page.

You can visit & view their video’s live at youtube by going direct to http://www.youtube.com/EscapeMinistries

When you said the words, “I do,” on your wedding day, the idea of divorce probably never entered your mind. Nor was it even a fleeting thought when you witnessed the birth of your first child. Chances are it never occurred to you at those times that one day you would be a statistic in the over fifty percent of marriages that end in divorce.

And yet here you are, considering divorce, separated, or already divorced. Today you find yourself dealing with issues of dating, visitation schedules, & feelings of animosity toward your spouse. You know that divorce isn’t the best situation for your children, but things have progressed too far to turn back now.

What do you do at this point to protect your children? How do you help them reduce the negative effects of a divorce? What do you say to them & how do you say it? How you handle yourself through the divorce process & the months that follow can be a determining factor in how well your children handle the struggles that divorce can bring.

Listed below are the seven worst things you can say to your children during a divorce. Avoid these & you will be on your way to helping your children make the transition in a positive manner.

1. “If you behaved yourself more, your mother would not get so mad at me.”

Your child is NOT responsible for your relationship problems with your partner. Hinting that your child is in some way responsible for your divorce wounds the spirit & slashes the soul. Regardless of what your child has done or said, putting responsibility on them is totally inappropriate. Remember, a divorce takes place between the two married people in the relationship. Even though divorce affects the children, you’re not divorcing them. You are divorcing the person to whom you’re married.

Even when you assure children that they’re not responsible for the marriage breakup, most children believe they’re somehow responsible. They think to themselves, “If I had only been better, it would not have happened,” or “If I had just done something different, things would be OK with Mom & Dad.”

If you really believe that your children are responsible for your divorce, then something is in need of repair in your parent-child relationship. Turn to a counselor, member of the clergy, or school personnel. Do it now. You & your children are worth it.

2. “Your mother is a tramp.”

Name-calling in front of your children is inexcusable. Regardless of what she has done & how you feel about her, remember that this person is still your child’s mother. If she has had an affair or done other mean things to you, it’s not your place to tell the children about her behavior. Saying hurtful things to the children about their mother doesn’t hit the intended target, your “ex.” It hits & hurts the ones you still love, your children.

Name-calling usually stems from feelings of anger & disgust. OK. Stay in control of your angry feelings. Attempting to knock your “ex” down in this way doesn’t bring you up in the eyes of your children. When they hear you using these words about their mother, they can see & feel the discrepancy in what you’re saying & how they’re feeling. Do you follow? They begin to distrust your words, & fear that you may be saying such things about them & their behavior. Their suspicion damages your relationship with them.

Kids need to look up to their parents. You and, yes, their mother are the two most important people in their lives. For years they have looked to both parents for comfort, support, encouragement, & direction. They will continue to do so even after the divorce. Speaking about their mother with words that are meant to wound only decreases the likelihood that they will look up to you in the future.

3. “What does your mother say about me?”

Do not put your children in the role of informant whose job it’s to keep you updated on the events & happenings around Mom’s house. They are not conduits of information to be pumped for information. Keep them out of the middle & off the witness stand.

By asking your children to report to you & keep you informed you’re asking them to betray some one they love. They are caught in the hard position of having to supply you with information or lie in an attempt to protect their mother. When you do this, your children have to decide what might be appropriate information to tell & what information Mom might not want you to know. This isn’t a decision that a child needs to be making.

If there is information that you feel you really need or want to know, go straight to the source. Be an adult & ask your “ex” the questions you want answered. She has the right to decide what she wants to tell you… If she isn’t forthcoming with the answers, sit tight. It’s quite possible that the answer will come to you without ever having to ask your children.

The main focus of your communication with your “ex” should be about your children, their development, & their continued care. Those questions that do not pertain to the kids may not actually be any of your business. Ask yourself if the answers to your questions benefit your children or you… Be honest with yourself at this point. If it only benefits you, let it go. Your children are what’s most important.

4. “I want to get back together, but your mother doesn’t.”

This statement may be true, but telling it to your children is nothing more than a play for sympathy. It’s a subtle attempt to fix blame & make the other parent look bad. You are trying to place yourself in a positive light, as the only one who wants to keep the family together.

If this statement is really true, explore your role in how the relationship with your partner has gotten to the point where it’s now. Tell your partner that you want to get back together & work on correcting the mistakes you made in the relationship. Your children have no place in that process.

If you want to look good & win your children’s affection, do so with grace. Approach your partner with a loving heart. Model for your children how to separate & move on in a relationship without wounding the spirit of another. Show your children how to have an open heart even when you do not want what another person wants. Divorce gracefully. It’s the best kind of divorce your children can go through.

5. “No, I will not give you any money… I send your mother child support. If you need any money, ask her.”

When you were married, did you sit down each week or month & show your check stub to your children? Did you share each aspect of the family budget with them, expecting them to understand the intricate nature of this system you designed? Probably not. They knew it existed & they became familiar with parts of it at times, but it was never a major concern for them. It was an adult matter that adults took care of.

The same holds true for child support. Your children do not need to know how much child support you pay & when you pay it… A child’s request for money isn’t a request to be told about the family budget or about how much you pay for child support. Neither is it a request to hear about your financial troubles. If the money isn’t available, & there’re times in non-divorce situations that this is also true, tell them that the money isn’t available right now without mentioning how much you pay for child support. Talk with Your children about what they want to do with the money… Help them create a plan on how to get the money they need.

The purpose of child support is to make available a percentage of the finances needed for every day living. Your children need far more than what child support provides. Your children need extra love, extra attention, and, yes, extra money on occasion.

Don’t get caught up in the financial end of your relationship with your children. Be careful not to attempt to buy their love with money… Instead, show your love with time & attention.

6. “I’m sorry I myself did not get you last week. I was really busy.”

When it’s your evening or weekend to be with your kids, adjust your schedule so that you can give them your full attention. This may mean skipping the golf outing, rescheduling poker night, missing softball practice, or changing your hours at work. Create the time so that you can be present in your children’s life. When it’s your weekend & you do not spend it with your kids, they feel rejected. The message is that something has become very important to you & it’s not them. Is that the message you want to send to your children? If not, then make your time with them a priority. Demonstrate to them that their time with you is the last thing to get cancelled.

If you’re scheduled to have parenting time with your children & you do not show or you call at the last minute with a change of plans, your kids feel abandoned. If you take them to their grandparents’ house for the day while you go on a golf outing, the kids question their importance to you… If you say to your daughter, “We can do that the next time we are together,” & when next week arrives you do not do it, your integrity comes into question.

When you have scheduled parenting time, keep it… When you say you are going to do something together next time, do it… Your children remember, & they’re building an image of their father based closely on your actions. Right. What image of you do you want them to hold?

7. “I do not care what your mother said. You do not have to do that if you do not want to.”

No two homes are run alike. With the establishment of two separate homes comes the establishment of two sets of rules. There is more. The goal is to create as much consistency as possible between your house & your ex-wife’s house.

Arriving at mutual agreement on issues of bed time, homework structure, video game & television viewing, & basic rules of respect for others’ boundaries is important. While this type of consistency is valuable, the reality is that it’s hard for many divorced couples to achieve. It takes setting aside your anger, resentment, & feelings of revenge, & coming to mutual conclusions about important issues that affect your children. It takes two people behaving like adults focusing on what’s best for their children.

To say to your children, “I do not care what your mother said. You do not have to do that if you do not want to,” begins to create an imbalance in the structure that children need, especially in times of divorce. The implication is that they do not have to listen to their mother, that she does not know what she’s talking about, & that it is OK if they defy her authority. This is your effort to exert power over your ex-wife by weakening her power with the children. You are attempting to undermine her authority & are using the children to get back at her. This isn’t your children’s job. Putting them in this position gives them a sense of power that is focused in the wrong direction. A child’s power needs to stay focused on managing their own behavior as they learn to make safe, caring, confident choices.

If you really do not think the children should have to do whatever their mother told them to do, take it up with her. Find out what was really behind her request or disciplinary strategy. If it’s not a strategy you use in your home, talk to the children about how you handle similar situations at your house. Explain the differences in the approach each parent has taken, helping them see the outcome of their choices & the effect it has on them regardless of the house in which they reside.

Divorce doesn’t have to be a devastating end to your family. It marks the beginning of a new family for you & your children. Focus on creating a new life together. Hold on to some of the traditions of the past & look for opportunities to create new traditions, new routines, & a newfound joy in being together. Show your children how to divorce gracefully by eliminating the seven worst things you can say to them during that critical time.

Thomas Haller & Chick Moorman are the authors of The 10 Commitments: Parenting with Purpose. They are two of the world’s foremost authorities on raising responsible, caring, confident children. They publish a free monthly e-zine for parents. There is more. To sign up for it or obtain more information about how they can assist you or your group meet your parenting needs, visit their websites today: http://www.thomashaller.com or http://www.chickmoorman.com.

If you want to meet some one online, there’s one thing that you will definitely want to do - post a good, recent, smiling photo of yourself. If you can post more than one, even better!

Why upload your photo? A Picture Is Worth 1000 Emails. Statistics have consistently shown that profiles with photos get a minimum of 10 times more looks. Many (actually most) people only search for profiles with photos. (Admit it… You do it too.) That means that if you do not have a photo, people are not going to look at your profile. You might as well delete it, close out you account on Match.com, & head to you favorite bar.

I understand that you may be a little afraid to post your picture on the internet , but it will be very hard to meet anyone worthwhile on line without one. Think about it?. Put yourself in some one else’s place. Would you contact some one without a photo? When you search, do not you want to see people with pictures?

The old saying that a picture is worth a 1000 words still applies. Your age, height, & hobbies may sound cool, but is that enough to pay cold hard cash to contact you?

Even if some one does contact you, the first thing they will want to know is what you look like . Also, many people do not really trust the internet & may feel that you are hiding something if you do not post a photo - like your spouse & kids. There is more. They may assume you are cheating on your partner or even that you are a criminal.

Your photo makes you ‘real’. It gives you an identity. With on line dating, your photo can create a spark or chemistry that mere words cannot. Remember, most dating sites charge money to communicate with someone, so making that step to contact you or to respond to your message involves a bit of commitment, & not having a picture is just one more reason not to do it.

Just like updating your profile frequently, posting a photo will often get you placed at the top of the search results - above members without photos .

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. One reason you might not post a photo is because you think you are ugly, or fat, or unattractive in some way. First of all, you are probably wrong. Do not worry about how you look. You will have to show yourself eventually! Even the best looking people look ugly when they do not smile. So smile! If you are not conventionally attractive, a confident, genuine smile can only do you good.

There are lots of techniques to make certain your photo is the best it can be. You can crop or otherwise enhance you photo to make certain that your best side shows through. Most digital cameras come with free software that will often help you do basic photo editing. Even if you use a 35mm camera & take to the store for development, most film developers offer the option of a digital CD of your pictures.

Tips for Winning Photos Use a recent photo . Even if you looked better when you were 20 pounds lighter & five years younger, the moment your date sees you in real life, they will realize that you have lied to them. Yes LIED! That’s how the other person will perceive it.

Use a good camera. Even though most cell phones these days take photos, they often turn out fuzzy or dim. If you do not have a good camera, get creative. Ask a friend to take your picture or go straight to photographer & have a professional photo taken (Isn’t it worth it to invest in a professional photo if it brings you your dream partner?). Head shots are best - we want to see your face. Really!

Your picture should be fun, sexy, & interesting - not a mug shot & not pornographic either (unless you on an adult site, like AdultFriendFinder, that encourages that sort of photo). Many people, how ever, are turned off by overly sexy photos.

DON’T post a photo of you & your ex or a photo where your ex has been cut out or colored out. This implies that you have no pictures of yourself where there is not some other person attached to you… It also implies that people are disposable to you - not good!

Avoid posting photos with your kids. I know they areimportant to you (I love mine unconditionally), but giving them too much prominence in your profile leads others to think you are searching for a replacement dad or mom, rather than a partner for yourself. Mention them in the profile & then send pictures if your prospect expresses interest. Having said that, if you are searching for a replacement mom or dad - be honest about that too & save yourself the grief & heartache later on.

Need A Professional Quality Digital Photo? Here are two websites that will take your picture for you… I was amazed by what these guys can do & highly recommend them.

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If you’re thinking of divorcing your mate, I pray my thoughts will often help you reconsider your decision. I believe that most troubled marriages do not have to end in divorce.

I have been married for almost 48 years. Many times, though the years, I thought of divorcing my husband. I’m so thankful I select to stick to my marriage & to make things work.

Why am I thankful I stayed married to my husband & kept my family together?

1. My husband & I are happy today. I am so glad we did not quite the times we were unhappy. We have had to learn to live with things we did not like about each other. We have had to learn to forgive & love, anyway. We have had to find ways to attempt to keep each other happy. We have even gone for counseling. Do you follow? The times I was hurting the most, I had to ask God to help me love him. One good thing we had was we could communicate with each other even though we did not always agree but we did learn to talk things over. Thankfully we were committed to our marriage.

Keeping a marriage together isn’t an easy task, with each mate being different & having different needs, but if you both really want your marriage to work you’ll find a way, if you’re committed.

2. My family is still a complete unit. We are the same Mom & Dad to our kids. Because of this, our children are more stable than many of the kids of our friends & family members who chose to divorce.

Why do our kids seem more stable than many others whose families divorced?

a. They grew up in a two-parent home. The most important thing, for a child, is to have its own mother & father. They will never be as happy in another situation.

As parents, we’re responsible to give our kids the best life possible. Divorce can cause negative experiences they will have to live with for the rest of their lives. If we’re not good parents we need to become good parents.

Selfishness is the most common reason for divorce. When we only think of ourselves grave consequences follow. We must become selfless. Right. We must develop the attributes of a loving, giving, considerate & selfless person if we want our marriages to work & our families to stay together.

If you’re able to do this you’ll bless your own life. Your greatest personal happiness will come from your own happy family.

b. They did not have to go from parent to parent, according to how much time the court determined should be spent with each parent.

This is how many children today live. Shuffled from parent to parent. You need to find a way to get along with your mate. Some times you’re the only one doing all the giving but often that is just how it’s because you’re doing it for the future happiness of your kids & your family. Of course there’re limits. Some behaviors should not actually be accepted but endurance is often what’s necessary. Often you must wait on God to answer your prayers & teach you the things you both need to learn on how to create a happy family & how to love.

c. They did not have to live through the disagreements & arguments associated with divorcing. I’m so thankful my kids did not have to experience this.

When we get married & have children we have the responsibility to do all we can to give our kids the happiest life possible. Through divorce I see kids taking on the pains of parents who hate each other & they use their kids as skate goats. Right. Why should any child have to live through war as their parent’s battle it out? If you’re doing this you really need to fix it… If you live with a contentious person you do not have to respond in a contentious manner. It takes two to fight. You must look at yourself & determine how you’re contributing to the war & stop your part in it… Ask God to show you how. Learn to keep your mouth shut or walk away. Learn to talk to God about your hurts & ask for His help. I had to learn this.

d. They did not have to adjust to new stepparents or new stepsiblings. Learning to get along with their own brothers & sisters, in their own family was hard & learning to be obedient to us as parents was hard. My children did learn this.

I have seen so much pain in kids whose parents divorced & brought in new mates & stepchildren who did not care for the kids & were often bad people.

e. I believe my children were kept safer. They were under my roof, where I could protect them. If they had to share their life with their father & another wife I would never have know how they were being treated.

I have often seen the new partner resent the kids & treat them badly.

f. They did not have to live in a single parent household. I am thankful my kids did not have to go through that experience & I myself did not have to go through it either.

I see mothers struggle to work full time & care for their families, by themselves. In reality there just is not enough time to do both as well as you can do if you have a mate.

g. I was able to be a stay-at-home mom. If my husband & I had parted I would have had to work. I am thankful I could be there when they came home from school.

So many children come home to an empty house.

How is my personal life better because I stayed in my Marriage?

I’m proud of myself. I am so thankful that with The Lords Help I myself did all I could to make my marriage work. I love being married. I’ve peace in my life that so many others do not have. I am thankful that I love my husband today. I am thankful we have had time to get to know each other, to mellow & to learn about life so our love could grow. As I look at others who divorced, I recognize that many left their marriages too soon, before they had time to make their relationship work.

I’m grateful to have a companion today. Many divorced people are alone. When you divorce & remarry you take on a whole set of new problems. You may think your life will be better but often you’re jumping from the frying pan into the fire. Life ends up worse, not better… I know there’re second marriages & families that do work out but often their second attempt doesn’t solve all their problems. There is more. The saddest part of a divorce is that often those who divorce wish they could have their old life back, but it’s too late.

I have had a more comfortable life than some of my friends who divorced. Thankfully we still have what we have accumulated together. I am thankful we were able to provide a better life for our children.

Often finances are the greatest problem in divorced homes. There is more. The divorce forces them to split everything they have & pay a lot of what they have to the Attorney’s.

Please consider the above facts before you select to divorce.

I am thankful for the times that I stayed with my husband for the sake of the kids. I myself did not want to hurt them. I knew that their needs were more important than mine. It would have been easy for me to walk away but I put my kids first. I remember thinking, ‘I will leave my husband when the kids grew up,’ but when that time came, I had learned to love him more & I myself did not want to leave.

I believe the reason my husband & I’ve stayed married is because we wanted to stay married. Thankfully we were willing to endure hard times & stay committed in spite of mistakes made by the each of us. Right. We also were aware that we could not expect perfection from the other if we were not perfect ourselves. I especially found that serving my husband was the very best way to make things work, even when he did not deserve my service. As the years have gone by, he has learned to appreciate me & thank me for my faithfulness, kindness & caring. I’ve also learned to accept & appreciate him & be fully aware of the good in him, which I was unable to see when we were younger. We are very happy today & I am so thankful I myself did not give up before we got to this point. It can take years to get to this point but better late than never & you can give up so much if you quit too soon.

I’m so grateful that when we have family get togethers they have only one Mom & one Dad & I am so thankful my husband does not have another wife & I do not have another husband. I can only imagine how messed up things could be.

You may be thinking that your life has been harder than mine & that you have more reasons to divorce than I did. This may be so but I’ve been through very hard times, too. I’ve endured & survived some of the same things that have caused others to divorce. Through those hard times I’ve learned & grown & my marriage has become stronger. Some times hard times are given to us for that reason so we can truly discover who we’re & what we’re made of. Also to help us to get to know who our mates really are.

I do not think God ever planned for life to be easy. I think he intended us to experience trials to prove ourselves to Him & to help us reach our potential. Some of our greatest trials have been the ones we have gained the most growth from.

I encourage any of you who are thinking of divorce to consider the things that I’ve said. I know that God will help. Some times you’re totally on your own in your marriage but He will make up for the things you do not have in another way, as you wait for things to get better… In the end, if you’re faithful, He will bless you.

I also believe that God will help any two people find happiness if they have Christ as the center of their marriage & if they select to care for their mates & their children more than their own happiness.

I believe God wants families to stay together. Raising a family takes two, the father & the mother. If you both strive to please one another you’ll become ‘ONE’ as The Lord Intended. I am sure God intended FAMILIES TO BE TOGETHER FOREVER.

I am very thankful I stayed married & my family is still a complete unit.

Eva Fry’s mission is to help others become better & happier. She is an inspirational author, singer/songwriter/ motivational speaker & seminar leader. Eva has published three books - “YOU MUST HAVE A DREAM” -for seniors, “BE A WINNER IN LIFE”-for good kids, troubled kids & their parents. “LETTERS FROM JUVENILE HALL, KIDS HELPING KIDS” (Actual letters from kids at Juvenile Hall, intended to save other kids from destroying their lives) She invites you to use the FREE ARTICLES she has written for: at- risk kids Also FREE ARTICLES of inspiration to help meet life’s challenges. http://www.evafry.com

She has produced 7 Music CD’s

‘Remember’ (new music for seniors), ‘Oh What Joy Christmas’ ‘The Little Things’ (inspirational country), ‘I Love Living The Teachings of The Lord’ (Gospel/Christian) ‘Savior of Mine’ ? (Christian) ‘God Gave You Intelligence’ (for children) ‘Classical Style’ (instrumental)

Her music & books can be purchased at http://www.evafry.com

Her books can also be ordered at any bookstore. Her articles have been published, all over the world.

Did you know that most people do not know how to give a good romantic gift for Valentines Day when people expect it more than ever. But , with a little creativity, Valentines shopping is easy to do.

“Every year people are faced with the same dilemma, Valentines Day is supposed to be fun & romantic, but more often than not it just turns out being a total disaster.”

A simple way to improve your gift giving effectiveness is to select a few all time favorites as well as a few that are extra spicy!To help out this Valentines day, allow me to suggest 5 simple ways to make this Valentines Day the best ever.

1. Many women do not want chocolates, many women trying to manage their weight hate it because they feel guilty that it will make them fat when all they want is to feel sexy.

2. The 3 words I love you used at anytime or many times throughout the day can be priceless if heartfelt

3. A vacation or ticket to an exotic getaway really says “you mean a lot to me & I enjoy spending time with you!”

4. Flowers- They never go out of style, even if a woman tells you she does not want or like flowers a careful selection of her favorite colors in flowers can reunite lost love in a big way

5. The most romantic & intimate gift is exotic & completely unique lingerie. This is a Playful & surefire way to capture her heart, along with a beautiful bouquet of flowers your gift becomes irresistible.

Copyright 2007 Andrea Segovia

Andrea Segovia is the young entrepreneur behind the Private Belladonna Club featuring Exotic Lingerie & Fashion Styles from around the world. More info is available at http://www.vuazul.com

Separation can be hard & in times like this, I know I might have wanted some one saying nice things & giving me positive instructions. I’ve to say most of my articles are written from the perspective of the person being left & might not suit the person leaving. But read on even if you’re the person leaving, I would not waste an hour without writing something worthwhile. This might be a good email to send a friend going through this hard time. Now let us get to the nine good things.

The first: At least you had one love.

If you have lost the love of your life at least you have had one! Some people are so ugly or have so many disadvantages that they never marry. Why I know a few wonderful ladies in their thirties that have never been married. If you have had a love of your life well you can be glad about that!

The second : At least you know what making love is.

Sex sex sex. The whole world wants to talk sex sex sex. It is all about how good you’re in bed, how fit & tanned & wealthy you are. And did you know, it is all about sex. Once it was a forbidden subject at the dinner table, now it is often talked about at the dinner table.

Many people are in relationships that are only sex. They are in lust. If you clicked through to read this, you at once had a love of your life & so you most definitely have made love & that is something great you can remember.

The third: At least you can fall in love.

Some people can never find a person that they can love. And you have already found a person that you have loved. That has to be a good thing. Even better that you should pray for them & romance them & see if you can win them back.

The fourth: You know what it’s like to be held close in bed.

Not being dirty but some of the best times I had in bed with my former wife was just holding her close as she lit up a smoke after we had made love. It is a nice thing to be naked in bed with your wife or husband & to be warm on a cold night. Jesus is a great partner but He doesn’t often come to bed & keep you warm like a partner. Some people have never felt that intimate touch & of holding each other.

The fifth & most important: Losing your partner is like how Jesus feels about losing people to hell.

Jesus was often asked if He was going to marry on earth. He never did as He said that His bride was going to be the people who had their faith in Him, pledge their life to Him & obey Him like they would a husband.

Many single women in Israel would have loved to marry Jesus, not one of them did. But He died on a cross to pay for the sins of the whole world & He still has His arms out beckoning you for an embrace.

Losing the love of your life is just like Him losing your best friend to hell one day if they do not know Jesus personally. If you know the pain of loss of a loved one, you know the tears in Jesus’ eyes when He cried. ‘Father forgive them, they know not what they do.’

Are you lost? Have you come to this point in life without a personal relationship with Jesus Christ? I want to get serious with you before we get to the last four points.

Why not consider these scriptures in any New Testament of the Bible. Read the scriptures out aloud & write down your answers on a pad! Print out this article & take the time to read the scriptures out aloud to yourself. It is like you’re taking a test here in English & even if you do not know the Bible you can answer the questions. You can show a Christian friend the answers in the future or send them to me in an email. Okay now get ready. Read aloud & then answer the questions.

Romans 3:23

23 for all have sinned & fall short of the glory of God, So what does this verse say to you? Romans 6:23 23 For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord. So what does this verse say to you? John 3:3

3 In reply Jesus declared, “I tell you the truth, no one can see the kingdom of God unless he is born again Why did Jesus come to die? John 14:6

6 Jesus answered, “I am the way & the truth & the life. No one comes to the Father except through me. What does this say to you?

Romans 10:9-11

9That if you confess with your mouth, “Jesus is Lord,” & believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you’ll be saved. 10For it’s with your heart that you believe & are justified, & it’s with your mouth that you confess & are saved. 11As the Scripture says, “Anyone who trusts in him will never be put to shame.”

What does this say to you?

2 Corinthians 5:15
15 And he died for all, that those who live should no longer live for themselves but for him who died for them & was raised again.

What does this say to you?

Revelation 3:20
20Here I am! I stand at the door & knock. If anyone hears my voice & opens the door, I’ll come in & eat with him, & he with me.

What does this say to you?

Take the time to print this article off & answer the questions. Are you ready to invite Jesus into your heart? You’ve lost a loved one & you wish they were with you & everything was okay & things could be as good as when you were married. Jesus can heal a broken heart, but first of all He wants to come into your heart. Won’t you invite Him in?

Do you know a born again Christian that prays for you? Of course you do. If you’re not a Christian & these scriptures have shown you a need in your life for Jesus why do not you ring your friend & ask them how to give your life to Jesus? They would be more then happy to pray for you.

If you want to pray now & accept Jesus & invite Him into your life you can pray this prayer from your heart.

‘Heavenly Father, I’ve sinned against you… I want forgiveness for all my sins. I believe that Jesus died on the cross for me & rose again. Father, I give you my life to do with as you wish. I want Jesus Christ to come into my life & into my heart. This I ask in Jesus’ name. Amen.’ If you have not got a friend that is praying for you, please write to me at my email address at my web site. Even if you have a friend that you have prayed with please write.

If you’re a Christian, a good book where I got those scriptures from is ‘Share Jesus without fear’, By William Fay. ISBN 080541839-3. William has shared the Gospel message with 25,000 people one to one in coffee shops & airports & all over the place. It’s the very best book you can read & put into practice.

The sixth: You know for real now that you’re worthy of love.

If you have not had a significant relationship you can never be sure that you’re worthy of romantic love. Losing the love of your life means that you had love in your life & you’re worthy. If you’re worthy once you may be worthy twice or two times hey? I do not personally believe in second marriages for born again Christians & I share that in the ten scriptures you should consider before divorce part one & two.

The seventh: You have a lot in common with up to fifty percent of adults that have had relationships.

Nearly more marriages fail than those that make a go of it… It gives you so much in common with such a enormous segment of the market. OK. Soon enough you can heal & join a dating site on the Internet. (I wonder if you are laughing or taking me seriously? I’ve had three marriage proposals from Internet sites, LOL)

The eighth: You have had a person that is close to you tell you honestly all your faults.

Parents so often do not help us iron out all our faults. Some of them they’re aware of & they never even mention them. But if you have lost some one that you love you can be sure that they have told you… And if they haven’t, take them out to dinner & ask them if they could take the time to write a list of all your faults & you’ll shout them dinner in return.

You can be sure that if you do it right with the right, attitude, a dinner with your estranged spouse where you’re not going to get defensive but honestly want to take a tape recorder & let them tell you all your faults & why they have left you or they can not go on with the marriage will be very beneficial to both of you.

The ninth You can learn from your mistakes.

Better to do step eight & get to know your faults & then use your breakdown to work on inner healing to address your faults, than to attempt & place all the blame on your spouse & not get on & get better… Okay let me leave you with a prayer.

Dear Father,

Bless this person. Lead them to counsellors that can heal their pain & lead them into good & healthy life-giving relationships. Give them the courage to face their formet partner & take a tape recorder & listen to the truth & adjust their life. Lord I pray that you heal the broken marriages & you help people seek wise counsel & to always mend a broken marriage with support & counselling rather then toss it away. I pray that you’ll see this message put on web-sites & emailed to people going through divorce & that many people may pass this message on to every person they know could benefit.

I ask in Jesus’ name,

Amen.

Matthew is one of two people that operate a site at http://www.escapeministries.net Escape ministries is a place where people can be ministered to over the internet, by reading articles, watching videos & receiving personal prophetic words. James & Matthew invite you to visit today to look at some of the articles they have collected & watch some of the video teachings they’re setting about to produce for you… You are encouraged to sign up for our monthly news letter or simply email James or Matthew with any of your comments. Right. We hope that you might bookmark it & come back to visit often as we pursue our mission statement that is found on our home page.

You can visit & view their video’s live at youtube by going direct to http://www.youtube.com/EscapeMinistries

In 1997 I stumbled across an on line personals website & my curiosity got the best of me. At the time, I was a successful single parent that really was not searching for a relationship. However - there was something intriguing about this website, it had people from all over looking for?someone to spend time with, some one to love, some one to be friends with, some one wanting to find their SoulMate. At the age of 30, I was already past the bar scene & had no luck meeting anyone in my day to day routine. Not to mention I was tired of meeting people that just liked the pretty face & not interested in my mind. I wanted some one to get to know me first intellectually before meeting me physically.

So I took a leap of faith & decided to look around & see who had posted a personal ad. The fun part was I got to select everything about them; where they lived, if they had children, if they smoked, their body type, what they did for a living & so much more. In actual fact, I jokingly thought it is like ‘Shopping for a Man!’ I put in my order & viola, up popped a handful of people that matched what I was looking for. I realized that it pulled up the ‘Cream of the Crop’ & really streamlined my experience to only those I wanted to meet. I myself made the first move to connect with them, spent time getting to know them through email then talked on the phone. If we had great conversation & had things in common, we had exchange photos. Eventually, I met a couple of men in person to see if there were any sparks. Unfortunately, I was a little discouraged but decided the 3rd times a charm & I could meet Mr. Charming! If not, strike three & I am out.

On my third attempt, I agreed to meet this man at a local restaurant & I knew instantly that I wanted to spend more time getting to know this person. In actual fact, the feeling was mutual & within 5 weeks he proposed to me! We have been married now for almost 8 years & I owe it all to an on line personals website.

Here are my top 5 reasons to consider on line dating:

1. The Selection ? If you have used Google or other Search Engines, you know that you can find what you are searching for fairly rapidly by the keywords you use. Online dating companies use a similar tool to search their profiles. If you are serious about meeting someone, does not it make sense to be in a ‘target rich’ environment?

2. It’s Fast ? Almost virtually everyone that has taken the time to post a profile is committed to finding some one special. Instead of waiting to bump into some one in the grocery store & playing Russian Roulette, you can instantly find some one that is compatible with your needs & wants.

3. Affordable ? The cost involved is considerably lower when you think of the number of blind dates you go on, the time you invest & the cost of dinner involved, especially if you are buying! Considering other options like joining a video dating service or other singles organizations, on line dating is very cost effective.

4. Intelligent ? In my opinion, the people I meet on line tend to be higher on the intellectual scale then folks I had bump into at random. You can learn a lot about a person by their style of communication. Do they send emails loaded with typos or are they well written & thought out? Do they feel trustworthy or deceitful?

5. Privacy ? The fact that you can hop on line in the privacy of your home makes this very confidential. No one needs to know where you meet Mr. or Mrs. Right unless you want to tell them. You can be the person doing the selecting, putting you in full control or post a profile within the community & watch who comes to you… Either way, the fact that it is done privately gives you more confidence than going out with a sign that says, ‘Hey, I am Single?Wanna date me?’

When you consider the various ways people meet their companion; high school or college sweethearts, office romance, night clubs, friends trying to be matchmakers, etc. Doesn’t it make sense to attempt something as simple as on line dating? I know it made perfect sense to me & I highly recommend giving it a attempt for yourself. Keep in mind there will still be a sorting process & you will need a little patience but before long you will connect with someone. Remember, these people are not any different from those you will meet offline but use your common sense & read between the lines. Learn as much as you can about someone, meet in a public place (I recommend meeting for coffee) & most of all be open to finding your SoulMate!

Darlene Willman owns & manages 3 businesses & takes care of 2 children. Writing has always been her passion & she encourages others to find their strengths & talents. Darlene appreciates the resources available on the internet & enjoys sharing articles about her various experiences. Her life’s mission is to educate, support & encourage other people to achieve their goals & as a result will reach her own.

The dating community she recommends currently has over 3 million active profiles. SPECIAL INCENTIVE: Sign up for a 1 year membership & get a FREE professionally written profile! Now, it is even easier than you thought! This offer is only available at http://www.2ofHearts.com & is for a limited time. 7 day FREE trial. $24.95 monthly, $49.95 Quarterly or $99.95 for 1 year membership. If you’re interested in promoting our internet services, please visit http://www.TheUltimateBiz.com to learn more.

As common sense & statistics tell us, the leading cause of marital discord is money… Therefore, it’s not surprising that many times divorce inventories have more red numbers than black ones.

Media sources often portray Hollywood stars of ‘power couples’ divorcing. Included with the typical hype may be which party will get the mansion, vacation home, or car collection, but rarely is there any coverage about how the parties will divide debt.

The hard truth is that debt, just like assets, are included in the community estate. No matter what your own moral compass may register ® regarding your & your spouse’s debt, Texas case law establishes rules that might surprise you… First, debt incurred during the marriage is presumed to be community debt. See Cockerham v. Cockerham, 527 S.W.2d 162, 171 (Tex. 1975). There must be a sufficient amount of evidence to rebut this presumption.

Despite well established case law, Texas divorce decrees contain sections entitled ‘Debt to Husband’ & ‘Debt to Wife’, which seemingly assign responsibility for each debt. These sections of the decree will identify each creditor, the account number, & account balance. At the close of the divorce proceedings, the divorced couple has a lengthy document called a final decree of divorce. The husband, wife, their attorneys, & the judge sign the final decree. Often times the parties order a certified copy of their divorce decree, throw it in a drawer or the safe deposit box, & rarely look at it again unless there’re children & custody issues involved.

It may be months or years later when the phone rings & one of the parties is greeted by the monotone utterances of a bill collector reading a script off the computer screen. The dialogue may go something like this:

Bob the Bill Collector: ‘This is Bob with XYZ Visa. I am calling because your account is 60 days past due, & I need to know when you plan to remit the past due amount & begin making payments.’

You: ‘What are you talking about? That’s my ex’s account. Our divorce decree says so. I have not actually been married to him/her in over (whatever time frame)! Call that deadbeat for the money.’

Bob: ‘Well, Mr. or Ms. So & So, that does not mean you do not owe the debt if your ex defaults.’

You: ‘I have a certified court order signed by me, my ex, our attorneys, & the judge saying that I do not owe you anything for that account. That account is the ex’s problem. When you find him/her, let me know because he/she owes me money, too!’

Bob: ‘Your divorce decree might say you are not responsible, but the law says you are. Why do not you give me a check by phone & we can get you on a payment plan.’

You: ‘Are you dense?! Did you hear anything I just said?! I am not responsible & I am not paying you one red cent on any of that debt. Call the ex but stop hounding me!’

Bob: ‘Mr. or Ms. So & So, I myself did hear you, & you are wrong. No matter what your divorce decree says, you owe XYZ Visa. If you do not begin making payments, XYZ Visa will report this delinquent account to the credit reporting agencies, & take action up to & including litigation.’

I’ll let you fill in the closing dialogue for yourself. You are angry & hang up the phone. You may think that Bob, located at some call center hundreds of miles away, has no idea what he’s talking about.

As unsettling as it may be, Bob is right. Unless the XYZ Visa was a party to your divorce suit & agreed to the terms of the final decree, you owe the money… It’s highly unusual for a husband & wife or their attorneys to implead creditors into divorce actions due to complex legal issues such as jurisdiction & venue on both the state & federal level.

To understand how you could possibly be responsible for debt assigned to your ex, you must rewind to the point in time when the credit account was opened. You’ll need to look at the original account agreement. Almost no one keeps those documents, so order a copy of your credit report from one of the big three credit reporting agencies (EquiFax, Experian, or TransUnion). If the account shows up on your report, then you were more than likely a party to the credit agreement. Despite how the divorce decree allocates the debts (both secured & unsecured), the Court has no authority to modify the contractual obligations between the spouses & the creditor.

To say it another way, the court can not take away the creditor’s right to proceed against either spouse(s) for payment of a community debt that was incurred prior to the decree. See Blake v. Amoco Fed. Credit Union, 900 S.W.2d 108 (Tex. App. ? Houston [14th Dist.] 1995, no writ).

Let’s presume the account was originally opened in both your names & the creditor was looking to both you & your spouse’s income & assets to repay the obligation. This means that you’re both responsible for the debt. But what about the divorce decree that spells out which assets & liabilities you & your ex were assigned? Is it a worthless piece of paper? No.

You will not actually be easily able to file a motion to enforce the divorce decree to get the defaulting spouse to pay the debt. An enforcement action will only assist if there was specific property, such as a vehicle, brokerage account, or personal property, the other spouse failed to turn over. But what about the debt? All isn’t lost. You could file an action for breach of contract against the defaulting spouse. The divorce decree is a binding contract that both parties voluntarily signed before the court.

If your ex has defaulted on one or multiple obligations, a suit for breach of contract may be cold comfort. As the old saying goes, you can not squeeze blood from a turnip. Nevertheless, if you pursue this option, your damages may include any money you agreed to pay the creditor to keep the account out of collections, interest, & other miscellaneous expenses, such as attorney’s fees if any are incurred.

Depending on the size of the debt that the defaulting party hasn’t paid, you could seek relief in small claims court. Texas small claims courts have jurisdiction from $0.01 up to $5,000.00. These courts are designed for individual persons who want to represent themselves & avoid hiring an attorney. This is where people go straight to argue the ‘do right’ law. However - if the amount in controversy is greater than $5,000.00, then you must file suit in a county court, county court at law, or a district court with jurisdiction over the matter. At this point, you may consider hiring an attorney to prosecute the claim if there’s a reasonable possibility you could collect from the defaulting spouse. If possible, never let things get to this point by utilizing some of the suggestions outlined below.

Before you go straight to court or sign the final decree of divorce, you should research each & every account that the decree references no matter if that account falls under the ‘Husband’ or ‘Wife’ section. You both need to be fully aware how the accounts were established, & who & what the creditor deems liable. It may be in your best interests to refinance jointly held debt & establish the debt in each individual’s name if that is possible. If you or your spouse’s credit score isn’t strong enough to take this route, then you may consider liquidating assets to repay the debt before the divorce is final & close the account. It will be cold comfort to pay off a debt only to find out that your ex ran up a bunch of charges. A method may be to sell a car, a house, real property, or take a 401-K loan prior to finalizing the divorce to pay off debt. Because a mortgage & car loan can have long terms of payments, it may behoove you to sell those assets & let the other party acquire them on her or his own credit. By paying off those assets, those will no longer appear as debts on your credit report or create potential future problems if the other party fails to make payments to the creditor.

After your divorce is final, you may consider taking these actions:

1. Closing all joint accounts with a low balance or zero balance.
2. Request a credit report from one of the big three credit reporting agencies 90 days after the divorce is final. Look for any errors or discrepancies & aggressively challenge them in writing.
3. Ask each creditor to send you a duplicate notice for the joint accounts ? even if the ex was assigned this account. Monitor to ensure that payments are being made on a regular, timely basis.
4. Make an offer for accord & satisfaction ? basically, offer the creditor an amount of money in exchange for a release of your liability on the account assigned to your ex.
5. Communicate with the big three credit reporting agencies to notify them of the divorce & any name changes.
6. Create a debt reduction plan. There’re many excellent resources available, such as Consumer Credit Counseling Services, Dave Ramsey, or a church based debt reduction plan.

Bottom line ? your credit score is an asset just like your home or car. In actual fact, if you do not have a good credit score, your ability to obtain consumer or business financing may be very limited.

Houston Divorce Lawyer - More articles & resources can be easily found here.

Shannon Cavers is a Houston, Texas based lawyer practicing in divorce, family law & probate. More information & articles can be easily found at: Houston Divorce Lawyer

Going to a day spa can make the bride look her best as well as alleviate the stress associated with wedding planning. These facilities offer facials, body treatments, massage, body contouring, hair removal, & hand & food treatments. They offer cosmetic application & instruction & have packages tailored just for brides.

Day spas offer a choice of European or specialized facials. European facials are combination of skin analysis, cleansing, exfoliation, steam, & massage on face & chest area. Some specialized facials include: deep pore cleansing facial, alpha hydroxy treatment, & oxygen facials. During an oxygen facial, a pure oxygen mist is sprayed or pumped into the basal layer of the skin. It’s scientifically proven to fight the bacteria associated with acne & eliminates redness & irritation.

Full body massage is available, as well as aromatherapy massage, scalp massage & reflexology. Reflexology is the application of pressure, stretch & movement to the hands & feet. By applying these techniques, it’s thought to interrupt the patterns of stress & reset the body’s equilibrium.

The bride & her attendants can also receive manicures, pedicures, body scrubs, & body bronzing. Hair removal is available for eyebrows, face, hairline, fingers, toes, arms, underarms, bikini line, Brazillian bikini line, stomach & legs. For spas that specialize in skin rejuvenation, they can successfully treat a range of conditions, including: age spots, uneven skin tones, spider veins in the legs and/or face, wrinkles, acne & even tattoo removal.

Most spas offer a complete wedding day package to the bride & her attendants. Most require 24 hour notice prior to cancellation or a service fee will be charged. As always, if the entire wedding party is receiving treatments at the day spa, ask for a group discount.

Kathleen Terrana is the owner of Beautiful Bridal specializing in discount tiaras, veils, bridal & bridesmaid jewelry. Visit our site for additional wedding tips, advice & information.

Getting married is the most awaited & romantic event in every person’s life; & to some, it is a scary thing because you are going to be bonded with another individual for life. Both of you made a vow to share your love, happiness, & sadness together. Most couples are dreaming of a honeymoon spent in a beautiful place, but not all are lucky enough to fulfill such dream. One reason is due to budgetary constraints. But for most couples who can afford a romantic & completely unique honeymoon some place else, they must be very careful in choosing their honeymoon destination & it would be best to follow ones instinct.

If you want to spend completely unique honeymoon moments, no other place is better than Tahiti. Be sure to celebrate your relationship & life together in Tahiti’s beautiful islands. There is more. The islands are tiny paradise, crowned with uneven peaks that soar magically to the ocean. You can also find islands that barely float above the waves.

There are a few reasons why Tahiti is such a completely unique place to spend your honeymoon.

Seclusion

In these islands, you can find intimate resorts, quiet pure beaches, & peaceful villages that are definitely suited for the couples’ ‘alone time’. This is a very good place to spend your honeymoon away from prying eyes, work pressures, & other disturbances.

Polynesian Spas

You can experience rejuvenation & relaxation with these Polynesian spas nurtured by a tropical ambiance. The spas are luxurious & the couple can pamper themselves with the services offered in the spa.

Over-water Bungalows

The island also offers perfect rooms equipped with all needed amenities, & the services are like that of first-class hotels. Have a tranquil sleep over the lagoon waters in a thatched-roof room.

Activities

You’re free to select whether you do something or just relax under the sun’s heat. Try to enjoy the lagoons while you are there by snorkeling, diving, & boating. If you want, you can attempt exploring the different islands through hiking, safaris, or shopping.

People

Share & embrace the warm welcome of Tahitian hosts. There is more. Their love for the Tahitian islands is reflected through their dances, music, & flowers.

Honeymoon Cruises

Romantic voyages are also available every week headed for Tahiti’s islands. You can have a voyage in the South Pacific on board cruise ships, freighter passenger, & super yachts that travel amid Tahiti’s islands.

Couples now have a choice from the leading luxurious cruise lines that offer first class balcony cabins & meals exclusively designed for honeymooners. There is more. There is no other place like Tahiti where newly weds can enjoy the time of their life.

You can find great deals on Tahiti honeymoon packages that costs as low as $1,279 to as high as $7, 545. There’re certain travel agencies that offer these kinds of packages to honeymooners. Feel free to log on to their site & check out Tahiti’s completely unique honeymoon packages & experience the greatest honeymoon moments that will only happen once in your life.

Visit Tahiti & experience the feel of romance in this completely unique place. The world has recognized this place’ beauty & is regarded as the center of romance in the whole universe. So do not actually be left behind; if you are a newly wed couple, or perhaps you have renewed your vows & want to have another honeymoon, this place can speak for itself… You’ll always want to go back to this magical & enchanting place.

Want to find out more about Unique Honeymoon Destinations In Tahiti We have all kinds of great free articles, info & tip at our site Honeymoon Destinations.