This is the third & final part on the guide to on line dating. In the first part, we talked about searching for the right on line dating sites, setting up a simple profile to “test” the site for people in your area, & why it’s important to take note of the site’s different features. The second part focused on how to create an effective profile & the importance of uploading good photos. Once you have done this, then the time had come to make a decision. Is there enough potential there for you join the site as a full member?

You should now be all set up with an effective profile & great photo, & you happen to find a couple of singles that you’re interested in. What should you do next? Here’s a quick note to keep in mind. Some sites will allow you to make minimal contact with another person without becoming a full member. This usually comes in the form of a “wink”, “flirt”, or “kiss”, but nothing can be personalized. You may think for a split second that this is a cheaper way to deal with the on line dating scene. Let me tell you from experience that this does not work. You need to remember that you’re probably not the only one “winking” at this person. In actual fact, there’re probably some cases where a person may get 50-100 “winks” a day, & they end up ignoring these altogether. A personalized, well thought out e-mail or instant message is the only way to go if you really want to get their attention. And this can be done only after you become a full member.

So with that said it’s time to invest in your future… Most sites give you different membership options. You can usually select from a 1 month, 3 month, 6 month or even a 1 year membership. Remember that you’ll always save more money if you commit to a longer membership. But the 1 month membership is still available for the skeptics out there. Just remember, that your chances of finding your “soul mate” on this one particular on line dating site within a 1 month period are slim to none. That is also a reason why some folks who are serious about the on line dating scene will become members on more than one dating site. This will help increase their chances of finding that some one special. If you’re serious about finding some one special, I would recommend this practice as well as getting a longer membership (at least 3 months). It will always be cheaper than having to renew your membership every month.

Now that you’re a full paying member you should have access to all that site has to offer. So now it is time to make your move. Here’s something that I almost forgot, the on line dating scene is different from your local bar or nightclub. It’s completely acceptable for the woman to make the first move, in actual fact many on line dating sites encourage it… So ladies, do not think that you have to sit around waiting for some one to notice you… It is OK to be a little aggressive & most guys find that to be attractive.

So you have found some one that you’re interested in, & want to make contact. There is one thing that you really need to take into consideration before putting too much effort into it… It may be smart to look at one of the key stats on all on line dating sites. Right. When was the last time they logged in? If the site says they have logged within the last 24 hours, last 3 days, or even the last week, then there is a pretty good chance that they’re still active. But if it says that they have not logged in within the last 2 weeks, last month, or worst of all, last 3 months, then chances are they have either found some one who they have committed to or they have lost interest in the website (probably is not producing quality results). Either way your efforts to contact them may be in vane. This doesn’t mean that you can not try, just do not actually be surprised :o if you do not get a response.

Your first contact is most effective in a well thought out e-mail. This gives you the chance to make a good first impression & there is less pressure than trying to do the same over an instant message. The key here isn’t to be too forward. Please do not start out with a “We have to hook up” or a “When do you want to meet”, if you get a response to this consider yourself lucky, but most likely you’ll be ignored. It is better to start off by introducing yourself, explaining just a “little” about yourself, & why you felt compelled to write to them. It is always good to mention something about their photo or profile, because it shows that you’re genuinely interested in them & not just sending out random e-mails. Which reminds me, remember to personalize each & every one of you e-mails, because there is always a slight chance that the people you’re interested in know each other. And nothing will get you busted quicker than when those people find out that you sent them the exact same e-mail.

Now that you have made the first move there is nothing to do now but wait. If they’re active on the site, they could get a notification of your e-mail almost immediately. Do not get nervous if you do not get a response right away. You have to give them some time to read your e-mail & take a good look at your profile. And if they respond positively to you, then that is great. The rest of the conversations should just work themselves out naturally to the point where you both may be comfortable enough to exchange phone numbers, & eventually make a decision to take the relationship forward. But there will be instances when the person you e-mailed it not interested. You could find out one of two ways, they could be polite & write to you to say “I am sorry, but I’m not interested right now”, or they could go the other route & completely ignore your message. Either way do not get discouraged, it happens to virtually everyone sometimes. The important thing is that you do not keep sending them unsolicited messages, because that rapidly turns into harassment, which could get you banned from the site. Remember there’re millions of people who use on line dating sites, & thousands of new members join everyday, so there will always be somebody out there for you.

I hope that virtually everyone has enjoyed this small guide on the on line dating world. And if you’re still having some problems in finding the right on line dating site for you, head to the Reviews of the Best Online Dating Sites for some excellent reviews & backgrounds for the most popular sites. And do not forget to pick up your free copy of the 55-page guide to on line dating success. If you put into practice everything that we have gone over in this guide, I’ve a feeling that you’ll have a lot of fun in the on line dating world. Good luck to virtually everyone & remember to be safe!!!

Chris Hickey – Former on line dater (met & married) “Been surfing the net for 12 years..seen some things that impress me & some things that disappoint me, but I’m far from seeing it all.”

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