These days, it’s hard to come by an individual who doesn’t know some one who has been divorced, or who has not actually been divorced themselves. In Hollywood, divorce is seemingly becoming a common occurrence, while paving the way for a society where we are not just getting married later in life, but also searching for an almost unrealistic level of happiness in our marriage.

Many couples considering divorce refuse to believe that divorce can have a negative effect on their children. But many studies have been conducted that prove otherwise.

A long term study released in 2002 by the Institute for American Values found that ‘unhappily married adults who divorced were no more likely to report emotional or psychological improvements than those who stayed married.

According to this study, divorce does in actual fact NOT improve your emotional health. I think it would be safe to assume that this is due to the stress & financial burden divorce inflicts upon couples.

Here’s another fact you might not know…

The Institute for American Values study found that almost eight out of 10 couples who avoided divorce were happily married five years later. Surprising, is not it?

Here is another fact…

Half of all American children will witness the breakup of a parent’s marriage. Of these, close to ½ will also see the breakup of a parent’s second marriage.’ (Furstenberg, Peterson, Nord, & Zill, ‘Life Course’)

Many couples divorce, & then remarry without knowing the true cause of their marriage problems in the first marriage. This is why the second marriage divorce rate is even higher than that of the first marriage!

Some statistics specifically about the effects of divorce on children…

- Studies in the early 1980′s showed that children in repeat divorces earned lower grades & their peers rated them as less pleasant to be around. (Andrew J. Cherlin, Marriage, Divorce, Remarriage ?Harvard University Press 1981)

- Forty percent of children growing up in America today are being raised without their fathers. (Wade, Horn & Busy, ‘Fathers, Marriage & Welfare Reform’ Hudson Institute Executive Briefing, 1997)

- Teenagers in single-parent families & in blended families are three times more likely to need psychological help within a given year. (Peter Hill ‘Recent Advances in Selected Aspects of Adolescent Development’ Journal of Child Psychology & Psychiatry 1993)

- Compared to children from homes disrupted by death, children from divorced homes have more psychological problems. (Robert E. Emery, Marriage, Divorce & Children’s Adjustment’ Sage Publications, 1988)

That statistic is truly amazing, is not it? But let me continue on…here are are some more shocking statistics on the effect of divorce on children…

- Children living with both biological parents are 20 to 35 percent more physically healthy than children from broken homes. (Dawson, ‘Family Structure & Children’s Health & Well-being’ Journal of Marriage & the Family)

- Most victims of child molestation come from single-parent households or are the children of drug ring members. (Los Angles Times 16 September 1985 The Garbage Generation)

- A Child in a female-headed home is 10 times more likely to be beaten or murdered. (The Legal Beagle, July 1984, from ‘The Garbage Generation’)

- The study of children six years after a parental marriage breakup revealed that even after all that time, these children tended to be ‘lonely, unhappy, anxious :? & insecure”. (Wallerstein ‘The Long-Term Effects of Divorce on Children’ Journal of the American Academy of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry 1991)

- Children of divorce are four times more likely to report problems with peers & friends than children whose parents have kept their marriages intact. (Tysse, Burnett, ‘Moral Dilemmas of Early Adolescents of Divorced & Intact Families. Journal of Early Adolescence 1993)

- Children of divorce, particularly boys, tend to be more aggressive toward others than those children whose parents did not divorce. (Emery, ‘Marriage, Divorce & Children’s Adjustment, 1988)

- Children of divorce are at a greater risk to experience injury, asthma, headaches & speech defects than children whose parents have remained married. (Dawson, ‘Family Structure & Children’s Health & Well Being’ National Health Interview Survey on Child Health, Journal of Marriage & the Family)

- People who come from broken homes are almost twice or two times as likely to attempt suicide than those who do not come from broken homes. (Velez-Cohen, ‘Suicidal Behavior & Ideation in a Community Sample of Children’ Journal of the American Academy of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry 1988)

- Children of divorced parents are roughly two times more likely to drop out of high school than their peers who benefit from living with parents who did not divorce. (McLanahan, Sandefur, ‘Growing Up With a Single Parent: What Hurts, What Helps’ Harvard University Press 1994)

- Seventy percent of long-term prison inmates grew up in broken homes. (Horn, Bush, ‘Fathers, Marriage & Welfare Reform)

- Following divorce, children are fifty percent more likely to develop health problems than two parent families. (Angel, Worobey, ‘Single Motherhood & Children’s Health’)

- Of all children born to married parents this year, fifty percent will experience the divorce of their parents before they reach their 18th birthday. (Fagan, Fitzgerald, Rector, ‘The Effects of Divorce On America)

I hope these statistics may eventually cause you (or your spouse) to seriously consider all the consequences of divorce before you make that final decision.

Based on these statistics, it becomes obvious that children need stable, loving homes with both mom & dad. There is, of course an exception to every rule, & in this case it’s households where abuse is taking place. Children should under no circumstances remain in an abusive atmosphere that is unsafe for them.

But if there is no abuse taking place in your marriage & the two of you have simply “grown apart”,or fell out of love, I urge you to seek out help for your marriage before you give up completely. For your children’s sake, even if you are feeling hopeless right now, get help for your marriage today.

With an 88% success rate, Larry Bilotta’s Marriage Lifeline Program, gives you hope for your marriage – even if you are the only one who wants to Save the marriage. For FREE, straightforward, no-nonsense advice you can use to save your marriage, with or WITHOUT your spouse’s participation visit Larry’s web site: Stop Your Divorce.