Many on line marriage forums as well as therapists & counselors field the question, ‘How can I stop my divorce?’ This can be a loaded question. There’re so many variables to consider when it comes to putting the pieces back together from a broken marriage. First of all, once the divorce proceedings start, it’s a lot harder to tackle that ‘How can I stop my divorce?’ question.

In order to halt divorce proceedings, both parties in the marriage must agree to attempt & work things out. If both of you can not agree & compromise, the ‘How can I stop my divorce?’ question is a moot point. The answer would be that you cannot.

Before you can tackle the ‘How can I stop my divorce?’ question, there’re a few exercises that you should go through. They can assist you get to the true root of your marriage problems. Many times, the complaint that are aired are often a by-product of the true cause of the marriage breakdown.

1. Separately, each one of you should write down your list of grievances that you perceive to be the cause of your marriage problems. One of the reasons why the ‘how can I stop my divorce’ mantra is so common is because this specific exercise is skipped. Sometimes, people discover that their problems really are not so big & sometimes, they seem insurmountable.

2. Get together with your spouse & compare lists. Be prepared for brutal honesty. You’ll likely hear things that you wish you didn’t. However – to get past the ‘how can I stop my divorce’ stage, you must face what your partner perceives you to be & vice versa.

3. Together with your spouse, agree to work hard at quieting that ‘how can I stop my divorce’ question. Dissect those troublesome issues & categorize them by root causes or what you think is the root cause of the problems. Sometimes, you’ll be surprised :o by the outcome. You see, as people grow older & become involved in new activities & jobs, their tastes & preferences change. If you do not communicate with your spouse every day, you’ll not grow together but rather apart.

Of course, there’re serious issues in which divorce might be the best thing such as emotional, verbal & physical abuse. But what about infidelity, gambling, drinking & other vices that cause problems? Do you still love one another but finding it hard to live together? If this is the case, you can squash the ‘how can I stop my divorce’ mantra & work hard together to solve those problems. It’s probably easier said than done, but if you have a commitment to one another & do not want to throw away a number of years of marriage, it will pay off emotionally & spiritually if you did.

‘How can I stop my divorce’ is one of the biggest pleas of help from married people. It signals that you’re at the end of your rope & would do anything in order to prevent it… However – you & your spouse must be prepared to work hard in order for your downward spiral trend to reverse itself… Do you have what it takes? Only you & your spouse can decide… Quiet those ‘how can I stop my divorce’ questions & get on with your marriage.

Susan Wise is the exclusive author for http://thebestinmarriage.com If you’re asking the question How Can I Stop My Divorce you can visit thebestinmarriage.com for many more information & resources