Unfortunately, occasionally spouses discover the depth of their life only after the divorce. Problems that earlier seems enormous & unsolvable, with time become small & insignificant. Now, when you’re not tangled in your emotions anymore, you can see that besides some fights & misunderstandings (that, by the way, happen in any family) there have been also many beautiful & happy :) moments. If this sounds like your case, getting back together after the divorce can be easier than it seems!

When trying to rebuild a family you have to proceed with great caution, as your relationships are still very fragile & unstable. That is why it’s very important how you act & what you say.

Never attempt to manipulate your ex into getting back together using kids, house, money or threats. You really do not need a family built on constraint instead of trust.

Do not argue with your ex, because you feel irritated or upset. This will only make the situation worse.

Do not attempt to make your ex spouse feel bad :cry: for you, because you’re acting depressed & needy. This is just another type of manipulation. I understand that it can be very hard to get yourself together after divorce, but that is the only way. Be strong & self-confident. OK. Start a ‘self-improvement program’: dress well, start working out, quit smoking, spend more time doing things that you like, read motivational literature.

Do you remember the first time you have met? What was it that got your ex’s attention? This mutual affection & love that you once had for each other can be evoked once again. You just have to be that interesting, funny :lol: & completely unique person that your beloved one needs. It should not actually be challenging, because you have a great benefit ? you know almost everything about that person & you’re still bound by some wonderful memories, which you have shared in the past. Use it, but be very careful not too go too far.

Do not agree with everything your ex spouse says or say things that you think he/she will like to hear, if you do not really mean them. You have to be sincere, otherwise your strategy becomes counterproductive & instead of gaining his/her interest you may cause irritation.

Try to really listen to your ex spouse. Make sure that he/she knows that you’ll be there for him/her to support & help. You should become friends you once were as, ‘All love that has not friendship for its base, is like a mansion built upon the sand.’ (Ella Wheeler Wilcox)

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