If you’re thinking of divorcing your mate, I pray my thoughts will often help you reconsider your decision. I believe that most troubled marriages do not have to end in divorce.

I have been married for almost 48 years. Many times, though the years, I thought of divorcing my husband. I’m so thankful I select to stick to my marriage & to make things work.

Why am I thankful I stayed married to my husband & kept my family together?

1. My husband & I are happy :) today. I am so glad we did not quite the times we were unhappy. We have had to learn to live with things we did not like about each other. We have had to learn to forgive & love, anyway. We have had to find ways to attempt to keep each other happy. We have even gone for counseling. Do you follow? The times I was hurting the most, I had to ask God to help me love him. One good thing we had was we could communicate with each other even though we did not always agree but we did learn to talk things over. Thankfully we were committed to our marriage.

Keeping a marriage together isn’t an easy task, with each mate being different & having different needs, but if you both really want your marriage to work you’ll find a way, if you’re committed.

2. My family is still a complete unit. We are the same Mom & Dad to our kids. Because of this, our children are more stable than many of the kids of our friends & family members who chose to divorce.

Why do our kids seem more stable than many others whose families divorced?

a. They grew up in a two-parent home. The most important thing, for a child, is to have its own mother & father. They will never be as happy :) in another situation.

As parents, we’re responsible to give our kids the best life possible. Divorce can cause negative experiences they will have to live with for the rest of their lives. If we’re not good parents we need to become good parents.

Selfishness is the most common reason for divorce. When we only think of ourselves grave consequences follow. We must become selfless. Right. We must develop the attributes of a loving, giving, considerate & selfless person if we want our marriages to work & our families to stay together.

If you’re able to do this you’ll bless your own life. Your greatest personal happiness will come from your own happy :) family.

b. They did not have to go from parent to parent, according to how much time the court determined should be spent with each parent.

This is how many children today live. Shuffled from parent to parent. You need to find a way to get along with your mate. Some times you’re the only one doing all the giving but often that is just how it’s because you’re doing it for the future happiness of your kids & your family. Of course there’re limits. Some behaviors should not actually be accepted but endurance is often what’s necessary. Often you must wait on God to answer your prayers & teach you the things you both need to learn on how to create a happy :) family & how to love.

c. They did not have to live through the disagreements & arguments associated with divorcing. I’m so thankful my kids did not have to experience this.

When we get married & have children we have the responsibility to do all we can to give our kids the happiest life possible. Through divorce I see kids taking on the pains of parents who hate each other & they use their kids as skate goats. Right. Why should any child have to live through war as their parent’s battle it out? If you’re doing this you really need to fix it… If you live with a contentious person you do not have to respond in a contentious manner. It takes two to fight. You must look at yourself & determine how you’re contributing to the war & stop your part in it… Ask God to show you how. Learn to keep your mouth shut or walk away. Learn to talk to God about your hurts & ask for His help. I had to learn this.

d. They did not have to adjust to new stepparents or new stepsiblings. Learning to get along with their own brothers & sisters, in their own family was hard & learning to be obedient to us as parents was hard. My children did learn this.

I have seen so much pain in kids whose parents divorced & brought in new mates & stepchildren who did not care for the kids & were often bad :cry: people.

e. I believe my children were kept safer. They were under my roof, where I could protect them. If they had to share their life with their father & another wife I would never have know how they were being treated.

I have often seen the new partner resent the kids & treat them badly.

f. They did not have to live in a single parent household. I am thankful my kids did not have to go through that experience & I myself did not have to go through it either.

I see mothers struggle to work full time & care for their families, by themselves. In reality there just is not enough time to do both as well as you can do if you have a mate.

g. I was able to be a stay-at-home mom. If my husband & I had parted I would have had to work. I am thankful I could be there when they came home from school.

So many children come home to an empty house.

How is my personal life better because I stayed in my Marriage?

I’m proud of myself. I am so thankful that with The Lords Help I myself did all I could to make my marriage work. I love being married. I’ve peace in my life that so many others do not have. I am thankful that I love my husband today. I am thankful we have had time to get to know each other, to mellow & to learn about life so our love could grow. As I look at others who divorced, I recognize that many left their marriages too soon, before they had time to make their relationship work.

I’m grateful to have a companion today. Many divorced people are alone. When you divorce & remarry you take on a whole set of new problems. You may think your life will be better but often you’re jumping from the frying pan into the fire. Life ends up worse, not better… I know there’re second marriages & families that do work out but often their second attempt doesn’t solve all their problems. There is more. The saddest part of a divorce is that often those who divorce wish they could have their old life back, but it’s too late.

I have had a more comfortable life than some of my friends who divorced. Thankfully we still have what we have accumulated together. I am thankful we were able to provide a better life for our children.

Often finances are the greatest problem in divorced homes. There is more. The divorce forces them to split everything they have & pay a lot of what they have to the Attorney’s.

Please consider the above facts before you select to divorce.

I am thankful for the times that I stayed with my husband for the sake of the kids. I myself did not want to hurt them. I knew that their needs were more important than mine. It would have been easy for me to walk away but I put my kids first. I remember thinking, ‘I will leave my husband when the kids grew up,’ but when that time came, I had learned to love him more & I myself did not want to leave.

I believe the reason my husband & I’ve stayed married is because we wanted to stay married. Thankfully we were willing to endure hard times & stay committed in spite of mistakes made by the each of us. Right. We also were aware that we could not expect perfection from the other if we were not perfect ourselves. I especially found that serving my husband was the very best way to make things work, even when he did not deserve my service. As the years have gone by, he has learned to appreciate me & thank me for my faithfulness, kindness & caring. I’ve also learned to accept & appreciate him & be fully aware of the good in him, which I was unable to see when we were younger. We are very happy :) today & I am so thankful I myself did not give up before we got to this point. It can take years to get to this point but better late than never & you can give up so much if you quit too soon.

I’m so grateful that when we have family get togethers they have only one Mom & one Dad & I am so thankful my husband does not have another wife & I do not have another husband. I can only imagine how messed up things could be.

You may be thinking that your life has been harder than mine & that you have more reasons to divorce than I did. This may be so but I’ve been through very hard times, too. I’ve endured & survived some of the same things that have caused others to divorce. Through those hard times I’ve learned & grown & my marriage has become stronger. Some times hard times are given to us for that reason so we can truly discover who we’re & what we’re made of. Also to help us to get to know who our mates really are.

I do not think God ever planned for life to be easy. I think he intended us to experience trials to prove ourselves to Him & to help us reach our potential. Some of our greatest trials have been the ones we have gained the most growth from.

I encourage any of you who are thinking of divorce to consider the things that I’ve said. I know that God will help. Some times you’re totally on your own in your marriage but He will make up for the things you do not have in another way, as you wait for things to get better… In the end, if you’re faithful, He will bless you.

I also believe that God will help any two people find happiness if they have Christ as the center of their marriage & if they select to care for their mates & their children more than their own happiness.

I believe God wants families to stay together. Raising a family takes two, the father & the mother. If you both strive to please one another you’ll become ‘ONE’ as The Lord Intended. I am sure God intended FAMILIES TO BE TOGETHER FOREVER.

I am very thankful I stayed married & my family is still a complete unit.

Eva Fry’s mission is to help others become better & happier. She is an inspirational author, singer/songwriter/ motivational speaker & seminar leader. Eva has published three books – “YOU MUST HAVE A DREAM” -for seniors, “BE A WINNER IN LIFE”-for good kids, troubled kids & their parents. “LETTERS FROM JUVENILE HALL, KIDS HELPING KIDS” (Actual letters from kids at Juvenile Hall, intended to save other kids from destroying their lives) She invites you to use the FREE ARTICLES she has written for: at- risk kids Also FREE ARTICLES of inspiration to help meet life’s challenges. http://www.evafry.com

She has produced 7 Music CD’s

‘Remember’ (new music for seniors), ‘Oh What Joy Christmas’ ‘The Little Things’ (inspirational country), ‘I Love Living The Teachings of The Lord’ (Gospel/Christian) ‘Savior of Mine’ ? (Christian) ‘God Gave You Intelligence’ (for children) ‘Classical Style’ (instrumental)

Her music & books can be purchased at http://www.evafry.com

Her books can also be ordered at any bookstore. Her articles have been published, all over the world.