If you’re over 25 years of age, & undergoing a separation or divorce, you may feel the negative impact from being an ‘un-couple’ in a world which embraces ‘couples only’. Before you were separated or divorced, a big night out for you & your husband may have consisted of dinner & a movie, with your married friends. Right. Welcome to the ‘un-couple’ world, where you’re the ‘odd man out’, & perhaps unbalanced without your former partner & just plain lonely.

It seems that once you complete divorce post-secondary school, the world is geared towards couples only. You’ll never see a table set for one, at a restaurant. Even the rides at an exhibition park are intended for couples. Have you ever attended a movie theatre, alone? Chances are likely that the ticket person asked you twice, ‘for one only?’, because he was so shocked that a single person might actually enjoy watching a movie? alone.

So, how do you do it? After a divorce, how do you deal with being an ‘un-couple’ in a ‘couple’s world’?

1. If you feel comfortable attending a sit-down dinner where you’re the only un-couple, then you should attend these dinners. However – if you’re not comfortable with this, consider asking the host to invite another single person, or single-parent family to the function. If you have a child, this may make your child feel more comfortable, as well. The other alternative is to refrain from attending these dinner parties, at least for a period of time, until you no longer sharply feel the absence of a former partner.

2. If you want to eat out, & you’re shy about requesting a table for one, consider eating at a small restaurant which will be very happyto make accommodations for your dining pleasure. Bring your entertainment with you, for example, a newspaper.

3. Invite your married friends to go out with you, without their respective ‘others’. It is healthy for your married friends to spend some ‘girl time’ together with you, anyhow.

4. If you have few or no single or divorced friends, start connecting! It may take time to establish new friendships, but start the process. Join a divorce support group where you can meet other women that will also want to ‘get out’. You could also sign up for a special interest class or activity.

5. After your divorce, if you’re living in a home with sufficient or excess space, consider accepting a border. You may apply for a foreign student to live with you- the student isn’t your ‘instant friend’; how ever, it can be an incredibly culturally enriching experience for both yourself & children, you’ll have another warm body in the house, who may wish to take part in ‘family dinners’ at friends’ homes.

6. Take up some hobbies that you can practice by yourself. One example of a hobby that you can do, by yourself, is scrap booking. Do you follow? The practice of scrap booking may motivate you to take more pictures of yourself & loved ones & of course you’ll then have to take the initiative to create new memories that you’ll have to then scrap book. Also, there’re many social scrap booking clubs, so if you want to meet other divorced women that share your passion, you’ll be easily able to do so.

Above all else when you are divorced, do not settle for less than you deserve, simply because you no longer want to be an ‘un-couple’. If you’re positive in your belief system, you can now start having fun at this transition in your life! Eventually, when you feel ready & you meet the person that is right for you, you’ll again be a couple.

Terri Mann is a divorced lawyer & is the founder of http://www.womandivorcesupport.com where divorced or separated women can find free divorce articles about dating after divorce & more.