Relationships, Romance and Dating
How to confront someone you think is cheating?
I have a feeling my boyfriend has been cheating on me, but I do not have solid proof. The main thing I have to go off of is I have noticed in the past month 4 condoms have been missing and we have not used them. Would that be enough proof to go off of? And what is the best way to bring this up to him? He is very defensive when bringing things up to him and will deny everything, so not sure how to start the conversation on this. Any ideas?
| Print article | This entry was posted by Corry on August 27, 2010 at 8:29 pm, and is filed under Cheating. Follow any responses to this post through RSS 2.0. You can leave a response or trackback from your own site. |
about 1 year ago
just be straight up with him
I have been cheated on and felt like my bf was cheateing on me
he said no but turns our he did
about 1 year ago
um ask him why the condoms are missing and dont let him give u some BS excuse
about 1 year ago
just bring it up and if he cant defend himself
dump him
stop living a lie
about 1 year ago
My experience has shown that my gut is always right. I would confront him and say that you didn’t take/use them and you deserve to know the truth. Don’t take his BS. If you think he is lying and cheating then you need to move on. That is no way to live your life. Find someone who really appreciates you.
about 1 year ago
You’re relationship should be open. He shouldn’t hide anything from you and you shouldn’t hide anything from him (like being suspicious). Just sit him down and ask him without being harsh. Say you trust him but you’re just curious. If he really cares, he’ll understand your concern, especially since you have a reason to be worried (missing condoms).
about 1 year ago
This would make me incredibly nervous. I suggest asking him about it and don’t necessarily believe him if he says no–it seems to be the typical guy answer if he is. Ask him why the condoms are missing, he might of had a friend who needed to borrow some. If he has had some absences that you might find suspicious, I suggest going with your gut. I know this might not be the best answer, but it is really about how you feel about the situation. Don’t let yourself fall for any answer though, only you can really tell if he is genuine. It is a tricky situation and I wish you the best of luck.
about 1 year ago
When you confront a cheater and a liar, do you really expect he will give you a truthful answer!! NOT!! When you back a liar into the corner they will lie through their teeth!
I’m curious as to how long you’ve been counting the condoms!! You’ve obviously been suspicious of this for awhile.
If someone is innocent, they will try to convince you of their innocence. If someone is guilty, they become defensive and manage to throw it back at you to make you look like the untrusting jerk!
We all have an inner voice that niggles away at us when something doesn’t feel right. That voice is your friend and it’s there to help you, guide you and protect you. You need to start listening to that voice!
Keep a little record for a month………
Apri 12 – 12 condoms
April 14 – 11 condoms (we used)
April 15 – 11 condoms
April 16 – 10 condoms (we didn’t use)
April 17 – 9 condoms (we didn’t use)
etc. etc.
At the end of the month you’ll have written documentation that condoms are missing and weren’t used by the two of you. At that point, it wouldn’t matter to me if he denied it or not! He’d be gone!
about 1 year ago
don’t jump to conclusions too quick,
he might have lent one to a friend
about 1 year ago
Be careful how you word your questions, inquiries, etc. Don’t actually “accuse” him of anything, just kinda keep the focus on yourself and use phrases like… “I noticed… or It’s come to my attention…” and all the “Who, what, where, when” inquiries. That way he can’t put any kind of blame on you in defending himself. There’s nothing wrong in asking questions, just be careful how you word them. Will take a lot of “thinking things through” on your part. If your intuitiveness is gnawing at you, then become more aware about these concerns. Never ignore your suspicions but at the same time, don’t make a mountain out of a molehill. Get some facts first. As for how and when to bring it up… just start voicing your concerns out loud like you’re wondering and musing out loud, just trying to understand… Try not to set him off, but still he shouldn’t be angry just b/c you are asking questions. If he is that easily offended, then his offense would certainly puzzle me and I’d want some answers to my suspicions even more so.