How do I confront my husband about his internet cheating?

I recently discovered that my husband for the last year or more has been internet dating/cheating. I consider this cheating whether it be physical contact or just emails. It could eventually lead to the physical. I have read all his emails to and from different women. This one of the deal breakers (marriage) we discussed before we said “I DO”. How do I approach this kind of inappropriateness in a marriage? I no longer trust him or know if he has met or slept with any of these women.

about, Cheating, confront, husband, Internet

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This entry was posted by Corry on August 9, 2010 at 8:28 pm, and is filed under Cheating. Follow any responses to this post through RSS 2.0. You can leave a response or trackback from your own site.

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Comments (11)

#1 written by slurpee74
about 1 year ago

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You don’t trust him? You’re not worthy of trust yourself. You’ve been reading his private email, ACTIVELY SEARCHING for signs of infidelity.
#2 written by lwomar
about 1 year ago

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Just confront him. No need to sugarcoat it. You don’t have to be rude about it, but just let him know how you feel and ask that he stop. If he doesn’t want to stop, then its time for a divorce. If he wants internet girlfriends, he should be single.
#3 written by Jordan M
about 1 year ago

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You are asking strangers how you should approach YOUR husband??? You married him, talk to him.
#4 written by Forest G
about 1 year ago

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Short answer: File for divorce.
Long answer: You feel cheated. He’s not happy with what you’re providing. There is no fixing either of your issues. You didn’t trust him to begin with or else you wouldn’t have searched the computer. Once trust is gone, there is no going back to the happier times. In his defense, he could have just been playing around. It is fun to talk, flirt, interact with other people, especially of the opposite sex. But if you two agreed to NOT do it before you got married… it’s on him. He messed up.
Good luck!
#5 written by jramy.kiki
about 1 year ago

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Well first off you need to be aware that your husband is going to be extremely upset about the fact that you were browsing his emails but you need to just sit him down and tell him because what he has done is way worse then what you have done… I understand how you feel and you need to just talk to him about it

Sit him down and tell him that you have discovered the emails and are extremely upset by them and wonder what he is going to say to explain this activity because it is wrong
#6 written by Wisen Smart
about 1 year ago

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Good for you. You mean you are not just one of those women who “respect” the infidelities of their spouses by avoiding reading their chatting with other women.? I would kick the jerk out of my life in a blink of an eye.
#7 written by Sammy
about 1 year ago

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First you need to sit down down with him and ask him why he needs this and whats he getting from it.Then ask him why he cant get that from you or explain why you cant give it.There are more issues going on here than email.Unfortunately it wasn’t discussed before you was married.Good luck to you
#8 written by Sara
about 1 year ago

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A good, loving, wonderful man would not do this.
He is now searching for your replacement, and probably has been searching for a long time before you noticed this.
This is not “inappropriateness in a marriage,” this is the end of marriage.
I am so sorry to have to tell you this. Do you always want to be “second best?” You can’t ever trust him again.
#9 written by phoebster103
about 1 year ago

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I WENT THROUGH THE SAME THING & PLEASE DO NOT EVEN GIVE THOSE RESPONSES ABOUT HOW HE’LL BE UPSET ABOUT YOU SNOOPING IN HIS EMAIL IS A BAD THING EITHER. THEY ARE SELFISH AND STUPID AND OBVIOUSLY DON’T UNDERSTAND THE CONCEPT OF MARRIAGE AND THE SANCTITY OF MARRIAGE. THESE DAYS MARRIAGE HAS BECOME SELFISH PEOPLE AND WHY SO MANY DIVORCES OCCUR.
BE SURE YOU HAVE PROOF BEFORE CONFRONTING HIM. THIS IS NOT ABOUT HIM BEING UPSET AT YOU SNOOPING SO DON’T LET HIM GO THERE OK? THIS IS ABOUT IS INFIDELITY IN HIS MIND AND HEART WITH OTHER WOMEN. THIS IS ABOUT GIVING COMPLETE STRANGERS HIS DESIRES AND WANTS OTHER THAN HIS WIFE. THIS IS ABOUT LYING AND SNEAKING INSTEAD OF MAKING YOU THE ONE HE SHOULD BE SHARING SUCH THINGS ABOUT.
HE WILL TRY TO MAKE IT TURN ON YOU BUT BE SURE YOU EXPLAIN TO HIM FROM THE GET GO THAT THERE IS NO ROOM FOR EXCUSES OR JUSTIFICATIONS FOR HIS ACTIONS EXCEPT THAT HE BETRAYED HIS TRUST IN YOU AND GAVE AWAY HIS SEXUAL FANTASIES TO SOMEONE ELSE WHICH IS ADULTERY NO MATTER HOW YOU LOOK AT IT. DON’T LET HIM USE ANY EXCUSES AND DEMAND HE BE A MAN AND OWN UP TO HIS CHEATING BEHIND YOUR BACK AND LIKE IT OR NOT THAT KIND OF TRUST DOESN’T GROW BACK EASILY AND TAKES A LONG TIME TO HAVE.
MAKE HIM GIVE YOU DETAILS OF HOW LONG AND WHAT SITES AND SERVICES HE USED OTHERWISE YOU’LL TRY TO FIND OUT ON YOUR OWN AND DRIVE YOURSELF CRAZY. MAKE IT A POINT THAT YOU ARE HURT AND FEEL THAT HIS COMITTMENT TO THE MARRIAGE HAS DIMINISHED FROM WHEN HE PROMISED YOU WERE THE ONLY ONE FOR HIM.
HANG IN THERE BUT REMEMBER NO ONE DESERVES TO BE TREATED LIKE A FOOL AND BELIEVE ME HONEY THAT IS EXACTLY WHAT HE DID THINKING HE COULD GET AWAY WITH THAT WITHOUT CONSEQUENCES OR YOU EVER SUSPECTING ANYTHING. HE MADE THE MISTAKE NOT YOU AND HE NEEDS TO PAY THE CONSEQUENCES WHATEVER THEY MAY BE FROM YOU.

HOPE YOU CAN FIND HAPPINESS ONE WAY OR ANOTHER BUT KEEP A LITTLE REMINDER YOU DIDN’T DO ANYTHING TO DESERVE THIS AND HIS RESPECTING YOU AND HIS THOUGHTS OF YOU AREN’T HIGH ON HIS CHART OF PRIORITIES OR HE WOULD’VE THOUGHT TWICE BEFORE WANTING TO SHARE SUCH INTIMACIES WITH OTHER THAN HIS WIFE WHICH IS A BREAK IN THE TRUST OF MARRIAGE.
#10 written by Leonardo
about 1 year ago

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You go out and find yourself a man to cheat with. An eye for an eye-that’s what keeps marriages going.
#11 written by asian_man_admires_bbw
about 1 year ago

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You should divorce that cheater.

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