Relationships, Romance and Dating
Seven Helpful Steps on How to Stop a Divorce
A year ago whenever our son came to us about his marriage problems & to let’s know that he was moving out, my husband & I were devastated to say the least. We had no idea
at all that their marriage had problems & had escalated to that extent. At the time, all we could think about was trying to find a solution or remedy of How to Stop a Divorce in their situation & also attempt to provide any advice that we could give to them in that situation. Right away, I started researching to find answers to their problems. Right. Were there really any answers actually on How to Stop a Divorce?
Listening to our son about what was going on his marriage, soon we realized his dilemma of whether he should stay or go. We counseled with our son & daughter-in-law & there was a lot of “he said, she said” information to sift through. It was then that my husband & I realized that we were not equipped with the knowledge to help them even though my husband’s degree was in Christian counseling. We recommended that maybe it was time that they saw a marriage counselor. A marriage counselor that would naturally not take sides but could better handle their situation. Our son & his wife immediately started going to a marriage counselor but then again that did not help to mend the situation on How to Stop a Divorce.
But why in the world were our son & his wife having marriage problems? On the outside, it really looked as if it was a good marriage. They seemed very happy, went to church, & had all the signs of what we considered a very good marriage. What were we missing? My husband & I soon realized that we were not seeing the whole picture of what was going on in their marriage. It was not until our son moved out that we began to eventually see what was really going on in their marriage.
What are the early signs of marital problems? The following are the seven pointers that I learned that helped our son get through this hard situation of How to Stop a Divorce.
1. Realize that all couples go through hard times. Right. When outside pressures just get the better of a couple & things start to go badly at home, they are not necessarily signs of problems in the marriage. Financial stresses, family pressures, crazy schedules & career obligations can all cause strain on any relationship. A couple needs to decide if these problems are typical, or in deed are signs of marriage problems that might be a cause for concern?
2. Try to ward off complacency in your marriage. Many marriage counselors agree that one of the first warning signs of marriage problems is complacency. Taking each other for granted, neglecting to spend time together, or forgetting to say ‘I love you’ can all be signs of marriage problems that can lead to a much larger crisis. There is more. Try to do something fun together ever once in while.
3. Has there been decreased physical intimacy in your marriage? If your previously passionate love life has taken a turn for the worse, this could be a sign of a marriage problem. Of course, life events like having children, moving, changing jobs, or medical problems can all affect our sex drive, & does not necessary mean signs of marriage trouble. But if the trend continues for many more than a couple of months, it’s a sign of a marriage problem that needs to be addressed.
4. Are you avoiding conflict rather than working through the real issues in your marriage? In an effort to avoid a fight, some partners will avoid conflict altogether. While this may seem like a healthy reaction, in reality it only causes the underlying problem to fester. It can also lead to an explosion of bottled emotion once it finally comes out. Avoiding potential issues can be a sign of marriage problems. Of all the problems that our son was having in his marriage, this was one thing that needed to be addressed the most for them on How to Stop a Divorce. Our son told us later after it was all over with that he was guilty of bottling up all his anger toward his wife rather than letting her know about the things that bothered him the most.
5. When some one needs to win every argument all the time, this can often cause problems. Needing to ‘win’ is a sure sign of a marriage problem. Marriage is a partnership, & requires teamwork. There should be no winning & losing in a marriage, only cooperation & working toward shared goals… If you are not doing this, you may be showing signs of problems in your marriage.
6. Are you considering an affair? If one or both of you’re considering, even half-heartedly, having an affair, you’re showing signs of problems in your marriage. Have an honest discussion with your partner about what’s missing in your relationship, & work out some ways to rekindle the romance & stop signs of marriage trouble before they start. The long-term damage to your relationship caused by an extra-marital affair can be devastating so think long & hard before you go down that road.
7. Do you take separate vacations or tend to have separate lives? If you find you & your spouse making plans without each other, whether its separate vacations, hobbies that keep you occupied outside the house, or even separate bank accounts, you might be exhibiting signs of marriage problems. Remember that you’re a couple, & that comes first, & you can nip these signs of marriage problems in the bud.
All seven of these signs are very important & should be addressed right away. According to our son, they had waited too long to seek help. Do not wait until your problems have escalated beyond repair. It’s always important to seek the help of others if you searching for information about How to Stop a Divorce.
Are you trying to decide whether to stay in your marriage or should you go? Maybe you just want to know How to Stop a Divorce. For lots more information, visit http://www.lgs-publishing.com/stopdivorce.html
| Print article | This entry was posted by Corry on January 29, 2008 at 6:17 pm, and is filed under Divorce. Follow any responses to this post through RSS 2.0. You can leave a response or trackback from your own site. |