It is important to know that the breakdown of your relationship is for a greater purpose. Understanding some of the basic spiritual laws of the Universe will often help you to discover that there is a reason you are going this pain. These laws will guide you through the process of healing & bring you back to a place deep inside that is filled with wisdom, knowledge, & compassion for the human experience. Below are the first three of the Seven Spiritual Laws of Divorce that are at the heart of my book, Spiritual Divorce: Divorce as a Catalyst for an Extraordinary Life.

The Law of Acceptance

The first & possibly most important spiritual law is that everything is as it should be. Nothing occurs by accident & there’re no coincidences. Right. We are always evolving, whether we’re aware of it or not. And our lives are divinely designed for each one of us to get exactly what we need to support our own completely unique evolutionary process.

The Law of Surrender

When we stop resisting & surrender to our situation exactly as it is, things begin to change. Resistance is the number one culprit in denying us our right to heal. We resist out of fear that if we let go, if we surrender, our lives will go out of control or we will be faced with circumstances we can not handle. When we’re willing to look at our situation & admit that we do not know how to fix it, we’re ready to get the help we need.

The Law of Divine Guidance

God will do for us what we can not do for ourselves. Right. When we get out of our own way & let go of our defenses, we become humble. Humility is the doorway through which the Divine can walk into our lives. Right. Without humility, we believe we can do it ourselves. Right. Without humility, our false sense of pride, or ego, prohibits us from seeing the entire situation with clear eyes. Our egos remain in charge until we step outside our righteous belief that we’re independent & separate beings. As long as this myth is intact, we keep the door closed to our higher wisdom.

These spiritual laws, & the four subsequent laws, are a guide & will serve as a reference point for your healing process. There is more. They are designed to help you break through your fears, dissolve your pain, & understand the deeper meaning of your situation. When these laws are integrated & practiced they will give you the freedom to create the life you have always dreamed of.

To further support you in healing your heart & moving powerfully into your future, I would also invite you to set aside some time for some inner reflection & journaling. Do you follow? This will assist you tremendously in using the pain of your separation or divorce as a catalyst for the next, greatest expression of yourself:

Healing Action Steps

1. Make a list of five hard experiences you have had. Next to each one, write one lesson that you learned as a result of it… How has that lesson helped you in your life?

2. List twenty favorable things that have come out of your separation from your partner. As the following list suggests, the benefits of your breakup may be significant or quite superficial. It may be help-ful to look to your grievances for inspiration. If you’re unable to find any, ask friends & family to help you… Your list might look something like this:

- I do not have to share the bathroom.
- I have more time for reading & self-reflection.
- I can be myself without having to please someone.
- I do not have to make dinner anymore.
- I do not have to answer to anybody regarding my comings & goings.
- I feel free to go back to school.
- I can invite friends & family over any time of the day or night.
- I’m getting to know myself again, only now at an even deeper level.

By Debbie Ford, #1 New York Times best-selling author of five books, including Spiritual Divorce; The Dark Side of the Light Chasers; & The Best Year of Your Life. For lots more information on Debbie’s Spiritual Divorce Coaches, Spiritual Divorce Audio Course, & more, visit http://www.debbieford.com