corrimony.com

When I was in my twenties & thirties my social life was jam packed with potential dates. Men I met at church, golfing or at the beach would ask me out. Today, as a writer I spend most of my time alone at home working. It is not a great place to meet anyone other than the mailman. So, like a lot of women, I have used newspaper ads & the internet to find a potential boyfriend. As an older & hopefully wiser woman, I offer the following advice:

1.Always trust your intuition, even if it doesn’t make sense. If someone’s picture or voice mail seems kind of creepy?trust your instincts. You intuition doesn’t have to be explained or offered to anyone. What you feel is what you feel & you really need to honor yourself. If you ever find yourself in a position where you’re trying to talk yourself into a date, stop & ask yourself how you really feel. What’s the first feeling that occurs? Honor your first gut feeling.

2.Don’t give out any personal information for a long time. Meet a man in a public place for a cup of coffee or a quick drink. Do not give him your last name. If you like him, agree to meet him again in another public place?maybe at a restaurant for dinner or lunch. For the third date, meet him again in a public place & if you feel safe after that feel free to start giving out personal information. I know a few women who had horrendous experiences dating men they meet on-line. They all gave out personal information too soon. One of these women had to spend months prosecuting a stalker. Better to be overly safe than sorry.

3.Listen for red flags. So there he is across the table telling you all about what a great guy he is, when it slips out, he abandoned his children, or gets drunk on the weekends. Sure he justifies his actions & demonizes his ex-wife or last love, but there’re two sides to every story. If you’re searching for a good guy or trying to avoid an irresponsible chap, move on. If you can not confront him face to face, send him an email when you get home.

4.Give the nice guy a second chance. Sometimes, we meet a really nice guy but do not feel any attraction. In the long run, you might be much better off with a reliable partner you can trust than a guy with a lot of ‘bling’. Give the nice guy a second date, & be open. You may surprise yourself.

5.When you meet someone, do not actually be concerned about what he thinks of you; figure out what you think about him. Does he have characteristics you value? Women are often trained to be more concerned about how we will we meet some one else’s expectations. We dress, talk & act in hopes that the guy will like us. Let it go. Be yourself & focus on getting to know him. Is he some one you want to spend more time with? If so, let him know at the end of the date or send him a nice email when you get home. It is better to be rejected by a man you really want to be with than be with a man you do not care for even though he really likes you.

Remember the goal of dating isn’t just to find ‘THE ONE’; it is to get to know some nice guys & enjoy some male companionship. If you meet some one & it leads to a long term romance or marriage & you both want it, that is great. In the meantime, relax & enjoy your dating life as a single woman.

To view Kate’s article 10 ways to feel better right now, please visit http://www.kategarvey.myarbonne.com For free pet care tips or to purchase a pet care book please visit Pet Care Resouce Center of America, http://www.PetCareRCA.com Kate gives writing services for business & individual persons http://www.kategarvey.net Kate is the author of 3 non-fiction books & more than 40 non-fiction articles.